Back again! And so soon, interesting!!

Well I said I would do this more often, so I guess I am back. It's been busy in spurts but what else is new. I have a few days where I do nothing but dick the dog and then I have a few days where I want to pull my hair out. What can you do. The boy and I went to Kenora together for the first time since about a year and a half ago. And it was great. I have lots of pics and stuff but they are up on my facebook page, so go there and find them. I have some great pics of my moms yard which is just beautiful. We had a big BBQ at my mom's on saturday night. It was fun. My brother, his wife and the girls came over and it was good to see them again. It had some awkward moments but all in all it went as smoothly as could be expected. We had breakfast the next morning with my dad at the hotel. We stayed at the Inn for the night because mom didn't have the room for both of us and we didn't really want to stay out at Curt's cause then we couldn't come and go as we pleased. I am going to take some holidays next week! I am very excited about that!! Can't wait for this week to be over honestly. I am going to Kenora so Curt can to look at my car and see if there is anything pressing that needs to be taken care of before the warranty is up. And I am going to go to meet up with my best friend Jana while I am in Kenora for the holidays. She spends her summers at the lake with her hubby and it's about an hour and a half away from Kenora. And thanks to facebook, I found some old school friends. And they might come down and hang out for a day. I am going to catch up with Brandy too and her little boy who is all smiles apparently. Lucky shit. I mean really lucky considering how bad she and I were as kids, she should have gotten a hellion to make it square. Very lucky broad. It'll be nice to get out of the city a few days too. What else can I tell you, life is OK and I can't really ask for more then that. That's it folks...

J-BOMB OUT!

Wow - It's been a while....

So I haven't written on here since like April. Bad me!!! For shame for shame! I don't know why, there's been so much friggin' drama I should get GH to sponsor my life. However the drama isn't all mine and maybe that's why it's less blog worthy. It has it's ups and downs, this drama thing. It's nice to see someone else getting flogged by melodrama but then it's never as important or blog worthy cause it isn't about you. And that is me in a nutshell, in the immortal words of Agent Smith "Yes, me. Me, me, me. Me too.". I like me what can I say.
It is summer time up here in Winnipeg. It's been kind of a stressful summer too. The weather hasn't been as good as it was last year. Too much damned rain. And volleyball isn't as satisfying either, not to mention the fact that I am only playing twice a week, and I wanted to play like 4 times a week. The new and improved team isn't as committed as I am. I think the problem is that we picked up too many part time people. That makes it hard to get a constant base of players. No one shows up on time. And it's just a little annoying. Almost not worth it. Or else I am just really eff'n picky.
I am also playing in an intramural league made up of TM and TN staff. We play on the floor level of the MTS Centre, which is super cool! I have a team of neat people. I like 'em all. We started with Dodgeball, which I don't think alot of us have played since our school days. It was great! I did ok, I even compared to the Matrix! But the balls (easy!) we played with were really light and small at first. Difficult to make them go hard and straight (again - easy!). There are 5 teams, we came in third at the end of the term. Not too shabby. Then we started Volleyball last week. I'm doing pretty darn good there. I serve and I hear oohs and ahhs, it's eff'n great! And my team seems to all know the game fairly well. We've only lost once so far. I am getting along really well with the guys from TN. I thought alot of them would cock swingers, but so far they are all pretty cool! In Dodgeball, I threw a ball and put a little curve to it and he went to catch it and did a big stretch to get it, and he dropped it, therefor he's out, and as he's leaving he says "I think I blew my left nut!" Everyone laughs and at the end of the match I went up to him as he was talking with the boys about it, and noticed I was coming towards him and started to give me shit for throwing a knuckleball at him in a joking matter so I said in a girly girl way "Hey, I'm sorry about your nut." I think one guy who was drinking water just about drowned himself, and from then on in I have been deemed an ok chick! They all come up and say hi now and stuff. I am the "go to" TM chick upstairs. It's cool!
What else is new... we got a new PC yesterday. It's neat! Fun to play with. Lotsa games pre-installed on it already. Now I just have to get my illegal music downloading software on it and I am golden! I can't wait to have this whole weekend to corrupt it!!!! Har har har!

Well that is it for me I think. I will do my best to keep up with it a bit better then I have been so far.

J-BOMB OUT!

I Got Professionally Shafted! And Not In A Good Way!

So lets begin. I was up for a job in the company that I work for, and imagine my "surprise" when they tell me I did NOT get the job - AGAIN! This is just getting stupid. 4 job interviews in 5 years and I got bupkiss! This just isn't worth it anymore. You bend over backwards for a company hoping you will get noticed and duly promoted and or rewarded in some manner. Well I am done bending for any reason. They want extra effort then they can suck my dick! So tired of this crap. It feels a little like putting out on the first date (which I have NEVER done - no really!) and then not getting a call after for a second date. It was just kind of funny, cause I remember after the interview they asked if I would help out with stuff like onsales at the box office and stuff like that which I happily did to show I get along with the people down there. Which I do. And one of the old school people were down there. His name's Paul, I have mentioned him before I think. He was the call centre manager up until about July of last year. He left cause the call centre was heading in a direction he didn't like. Yeah the phone room was becoming professional and he would stop having to be everyones friend, he might have to wear appropriate clothing to work instead of rock t-shirts, he might have to be accountable for things. So he left. And guess who got the Box Office job.... that's right that same guy. So it goes to show that in this company he who cuts and runs when the going gets tough gets all the good stuff just because he's been there for a gazillion years. Argh! So I didn't get told until about 4:40pm on a friday afternoon. And after being told I was asked if I had any questions, and I said no I just have a statement - I am going home now, and I walked out of my bosses office. I went home and emailed off about 30 resumes to anywhere I could see. I was so mad! I still am! I just don't know what these people want. Basically I was told because Paul has management experience and I don't was the reason they went with him. In other words, we don't trust you in a managerial position with any amount of power. Then he says that I would be better suited in the Client Services department, with no one working under me. Yeah cause there has been so much movement in that department in the local office. I mean how do you get the experience and in an entry level position like this one was in all honesty, if they keep giving it to people that won't go the FUCK AWAY!?!?!?!? Then yesterday I was asked to go down there to work for a bit while it got busy so I told them it was too busy on the opera line, and it wasn't a good idea. Go down the box office my ass! I've had a couple of calls about my resumes so far but nothing really matches my pay here. Now that is truly sad because the pay here isn't all that great. So bare minimum is what they will get out of me. That's all I seem to get out of them. Oh and the other thing that fries my loaf.... they said they wanted someone in their right away, um the guy they hired is OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR THE NEXT FUCKING MONTH! BITE ME! I can't win, apparently I am not meant to. So I will just eke out a meager existence since that seems to be all I am good for. Yay me.

J-BOMB so very out!

To Sleep Perchance To Dream

Have you ever had one of those dreams that feel so real you wake up broken hearted? Even after 8 years after my godmother passed away I dream of her and my godfather (he only passed away a little less then 2 years ago) still alive and still living in the same house I nearly grew up in back in Kenora. And you get that homey, de ja vu that makes your heart smile and puts a little extra warmth in your tone. Last night I had one of those kinds of dreams. It was beautiful and summer outside and the lake looked perfect, the house smelled of cedar and Coca Cola. Yes, it has a smell. And everything there was like it was when I was younger. Before she passed they actually moved into the house they built next door because it was smaller. It was a gorgeous house as well. But when I have these dreams we are always in the other house, that beautiful A-frame with gigantic bay windows that were basically floor to vaulted ceiling. The loft office upstairs, the rec room downstairs where my brother lived, that had the pool table in it and a bar. The stand up freezer that was always full of meat and frozen veggies. The wrap around deck well above the ground, with the hummingbird feeders and great big B-B-Q on it. There was stairs from the deck to the grass and the big rock in the yard. My uncle had built a diving board in the rock that we used. He even carved a picture of a loon dancing on the water just before it took flight in the cement steps he attached to the rock. The dogs are there, Bambi and Punqui, at least a few of the cats like Mister “E” or Missie Mouse. It’s just so entirely the same. Happy times. The twist is that I am the age I am now with the people I have now in these dreams. It feels special. Like I wish everyone I know now knew the delight I did when I was there. Last night I dreamt I had all of my friends from every corner of the earth there and we were having a cook out. It was perfect. And I got to talk to my godparents again. And hold them and smile at them and have them smile back. The sound laughter was amazing. But then we always did laugh a lot at Auntie Mar and uncle Don’s house. It’s funny, I never really cooked too much in that house but it seems that when I am there now that’s what I am doing. My nieces and brothers and sisters are all around, both my parents are there and amused. It was just perfect. Then every time I would try and introduce my newer friends with my godparents something in the back of my brain new it wasn’t right. And I would remember they are gone. But as fast as I remembered it I forgot it and it was elation again. It’s just such a strange bliss you know? There’s such fun and closeness but you have that 6th sense that something isn’t as it really is. But you can’t quite put your finger on it. But you’re so happy you don’t care. And I don’t care about the theory that those kind of dreams only last minutes because to me this dream was hours long of sheer greatness. And then you wake up. And for just a few seconds, I think “Damn I haven’t called Auntie Mar in ages I should call her and see how she and Uncle Don are.” And before I even finish that entire sentence in my head, by about the time the word “how” bounces through my head, I remember. But I can’t bring myself to not finish that sentence. I never can. And there doesn’t seem to be an occurrence that makes these dreams surface. Not food, nor thought, nor smell. They just happen every so often. And I am left with this feeling of an unfillable void. And the wish to speak with them again. It’s devastating, I’ve tried all day to get out of this emotion and nothing is working. What to do, what to do? Well I could talk about something else I suppose.
Ok then, I had an interview on Monday for the Assistant Box Office Manager position and it went well, but it always does. I really, really need this job. And I would be good at it too. However I won’t know anything until next week. So I sit and stew. It’s hard to do that. I would just mean a lot to me if I could progress in the company I have chosen to work for. Like they had confidence in me to be a worthy employee. I keep praying to the career gods but to date they have ignored me 3 times with in this company alone in 5 years. Not great odds, but then maybe they think I am due. Let’s hope the latter is what they are thinking here too. Well that’s it kids I will keep you abreast of the good stuff. See ya!

J BOMB OUT!

To The Gallows With all Thieves!

So like the title suggests, I had an issue with a thief. Last week on Tuesday I came to work like any other day. I get to work a little before 9AM and deposit my purse behind my desk and sat down to respond to a few emails and regular desk duty stuff. Then at like 10 past 9 I go to finally get my coffee. I have been gone for about 2-3 total minutes and I come out and Melissa and Richard (co-workers) are standing at Rich's office talking books, and I thought I would call Melissa over to look at my relatively new purse since I hadn't thought she had seen it yet. So I sit down and look underneath my desk to get my purse and lo and behold it's not there. Curious. So then I look in the drawers and ask if anyone has seen my purse. Richard sometimes like to pull jokes to prove a point and I thought maybe cause I wasn't at my post that was what was going on and asked him if he tok my purse as a joke and he said no. Then he says, as he was coming into the office someone came flying out and nearly hit him in the face with the door she was moving so quickly. My heart sank; I knew exactly what had happened. Someone took off with my purse. Was it locked up..... no, was it in plain view....NO. You had to go looking for it in order to see it. I asked Richard what she looked like, he said tall as he was 5'9 or so, native, dark hair and in a dark jacket. Ok now I am PISSED! How dare someone take my stuff for no reason! It's not their property it is MINE! So I called security to see if they could security tapes for Richard to look at to see if he could ID the person walking away with it. They said they would look into it and get back to me. So I checked my bank balance online to see if there was any activity and there wasn't. I didn't think anyone would be able to take out funds with my bank card because they wouldn't have the PIN number to it. And there would be no way to take it out at a teller without Photo ID. So I hold off until I could get a lunch hour to get to the bank. I also had the boys’ bank card in my purse and I had to phone him to tell him to go to his bank and freeze his accounts. And cause he had the day off it was super easy for him to do. So I sit and stir and seethe for a good hour and a half over all of this anxiously waiting for Security to get back to me about this. No phone call at about 12pm so I called them and they say that they are looking through tapes still. Ok then fine. I check my bank balance again and there is a withdrawal of $900 and all I thought was damn my dad must have transfered the money out of his chequing account into his savings. My dad and I share that chequing account and have for about 10 years now. My paycheck gets deposited into that account and my car payment and my insurance come out of that account. I was more worried about the fact that he took the money but didn't leave the money I needed to pay my car insurance that was to come out on Friday. So I phoned him to ask him about it and he wasn't home all I got was his answering machine. So again I sit and stew. Then at about 2:30 city Place Security calls me and says they have had my purse turned in. I go down there and pick up my purse and notice that both bank cards (mine and the boys) and my SIN and my Photo ID/driver's license. All the pertinent info really. Again I call Security to see where it stands and the guy that was looking into it wasn't there. Ok fine, back to the stew. Call the credit companies and have my SIN number flagged for the next 6 years. Called my insurance company and let them know that maybe I won't make my payment. So I called the police non emergent line to repot the theft and I was asked if I had a suspect in mind, and I said I might I am just waiting on security tapes to confirm an ID and was told to call back and make the report then. Umm ok. So make me do the leg work and then report the easy part to you? Impressive. So by this time I have completely forgotten to go to the bank and it's now closed. Then finally at 4:30 my dad calls me back and I inform him he hasn't left me enough money to cover my cheque, to which he replies there is $900 in the account after he went shopping. I said no you transfered $900 out of our account into somewhere.......didn't you??? I said well I had my purse lifted this morning and shortly after $900 went missing and I thought it was you who took it now I see it was the bitch who stole my purse. Fuck me! So my dad and I hang up, he's calling the bank as am I now. I didn't think you could just freeze your account over the phone. I almost vomitted when I got through the queue to talk to a person. I explained what happened and they said that the transaction happened at 11:57am. There are almost tears now. I can feel them building. The tightness in my throat. And it's getting hard to breathe. The person on the phone is telling me to right away call the credit companies and has since frozen the account. They are also informing the branch that it happened at to get the ball rolling on an investigation. At this point I am unclear as to if this happened at a teller or an ATM. The person inthe call centre though assured me that the money would be returned. That made me think it was a teller. So I phoned my dad back apologizing over and over again. I should have been on the phone pronto to the bank to have the account frozen. I get done work and walk across the street to the Security desk to see if they found anything and the guy who was looking after the complaint had left for the day. I don't think he did what he was supposed to honestly. But the head security guy was there and he let me look at the tapes, but I couldn't really tell but based on the time line we had established there were two possibilities. So I phoned Richard to come over and look at these people and I told him to ask Melissa to come with him to look as well. They couldn't be conclusive about it. So I finally leave work at about 6om and on my way home I decided to pull into a cop shop and report the theft. Officer Waterman was very nice. He made the report and said they would be in touch with the bank and whatnot. I go home and phone my dad again and he's unbelievable calm and easy about it. That made me feel better about it. Even the boy was surprisingly supportive. I thought I would get a big lecture about hiding my purse at work and how I should have been on the horn to the bank as soon as it happened. But he just kept saying that the person in the wrong was the asshole who stole my purse. I thought he would be really pissed off at me for putting his card at risk but he wasn't. That was nice to hear from him. So I decided I needed to decompress from the stress, so I was going to volleyball that night to get out some frustration. I get there and everyone is late and we finally start and all of a sudden my ankle is feeling really weird and I am getting shooting pains when I try to push off of it to get a jump or dash for the ball. I ended up leaving early. That left me feeling very unsatisfied. So the next day I straighten around the ID and stuff and get my new one sent to me eventually. I had to be at work early to get to through a memorial parade for two fallen firefighters. It was a sobering day for me. Yeah I lost money but I was still alive. I got a call from the assistant manager at the bank where it happened. I talked to her and discovered that the money was in fact taken out through a face to face teller. How does that happen exactly? Well quite easily if you act casually and get a male teller. I have to come in and reopen new accounts with them so that they can put the money back into this new account. I have been on the phone with her for about 10 minutes and have yet to receive an apology that this happpened. Nothing. The bank in Kenora that my dad deals with has offered him money to tie him over until we get the money back intothe account. I got bupkis. Bastards! I go home and there's a message on my machine that a police shop has my ID. Interesting! So I go to the cop shop and ask when it was turned in and where it was found. The guy couldn't answer either question. That's sort of annoying, getting a little perturbed with the boys in blue now. Next day I get to my afternoon appointment and they are nice and smiley and still no real apology, I kept waiting for the barrage of "I'm so sorry"'s but it never came. And as I am there it slips that the teller said that the persono acted very naturally as he (aha the teller is male) was asking security questions. Ok answering questions is great but how about we ask the right ones. Like if perhaps the id had been stolen ask more then someone's address and SIN number, how about asking who I share the account with? Or I have 2 bills that are automatically withdrawn from this account what are they and how much are the bills? Those were two of the questions I had to answer when I was setting up my banking online! Good questions that wouldn't have an answer in my purse. Fuckin' knobs! I'm very upset now that I know this. So I get my new accounts open and as kind as they are they offer me my cheques fee free. Isn't that sweet? I asked how far they were into the ivestigation and they said they were still going through security tapes. Where have I heard that before....? They couldn't let me see the tapes though. I have a feeling that when they get through this investigation I will no longer be a Bank of Montreal customer. I would like to believe that the teller would lose his job because clearly he's incompetent. But who knows? I don't and it's been a week and I have had no word. Ridiculous! How much time does it take to go over security tapes? I woudln't be so mad if it was just my money that got taken, but it was mostly my dads money and the guy has been on and off of EI for the last 6 months because his employer can't secure a contract for him to go to work. He has rent and car payments to make too. All this stress cause by one piece of shit and I can't do anything but wait. I think I have developed an ulcer from this pressure. I really just want to put my hands around this person’s neck and shake them. Why are you stealing from people? Are you so lazy you don't go out and work for your own money? Or are you just an asshole genetically? If I do get my hands on this cunt (and I only use this word in extreme cases like this) I will bloody her ugly fuckin face! She better pray she gets picked up by the cops before I find her.

J-BOMB OUT and extremely angry!

Blue Hawaiiian Martinis are BRILLIANT!

So I have been avoiding this post for a week and a few days. I had a little birthday back on the 11th of January. It's no big deal really. Ok I am lying my ass off, (turns around to make sure), well maybe not it's still there. I turned the big 3-0. And it hurt. I can't desrcibe the feeling of underachievement that plagued me that whole week. So to get over this awful feeling, I decided to throw myself a little party, because I knew if I didn't do it no body else would. So I sent out this little invitation to all my friends from work, volleyball and everything else in between.

"Subject line : We're Gonna Sip Bacardi Like It's My Birthday!"

"You are invited to the party of the year!
For whom you ask deserves this kind of cheer?
I do - for this year I turn, god help me, the big 3-0,
And I don't think I will make it through without my bro's and my ho's!

I need all of your help to cope with my life's new page,
Because I feel like I have been locked in a new cage.
One with that happens to rhyme with (gasp!) middle age.
So don't miss it, or I might use your name with disparage.

I don't want your cards, drinks or presents,
All I require is your much needed presence.
Just bring your hugs and heartfelt wishes,
I promise some one else will do the dishes.

Powerhouse Tavern United is where it will be underway
Any time after 5pm on January 12, that's a Friday.
I gave you two weeks notice, do the math in your head,
And find a babysitter if needed, for a night out in the 'Peg!

And please RSVP if it's at all possible
Hey you can even just reply to this email!"

Not bad huh? I didn't realize I could still pull off the poetry thing but I think I did it in spades. So I sent it out to almost like 50 people. And I sent it out before the New Year so I thought I would give the guests lots of time to prepare to enjoy a night out avec moi! I even sent it to people out of town just to let them know I was thinking of them. Sweet aren't I? I got lots of responses of the positive variety, and some out of office replies but that's ok too. So by that week I had a solid 20 or so people showing up. I was kinda nervous about how my mood would be about it because alot of people on my guest list were younger then me DAMN YOU!!! But I thought maybe it would inspire me. HA! Then the weather hit... -40 and even colder with the windchill all that week. And of course on the night of it was probably the coldest of the entire week. BLAST! Ahh well, I had a few people email and said their cars were not moving because they were dead, that's a valid reason and I appreciated them letting me know they wouldn't be there. But everyone from work came out that said they were going to come out. Even one person from volleyball came out. And well of course Lorne, any excuse to drink where there are short skirted waitresses around isn't a hard sell for him ;)~ We had some food and ALOT of drinks. I had so many Blue Hawaiian Martinis it was ridiculous! And that was before the shots started. Our new Phone Centre Manager, Jennifer bought the first one, she asked for something sweet and fruity. and we ended up with Dirty Hookers. Nice eh? And they were the best shooter I have EVER had. It was cranberry juice, Sour Puss and melon liquer in a shot glass, GENIUS pure bloody GENIOUS! Then Pete bought a round of the same shot, then Damir showed up, Damir is our new IT guy. He started with a shot of Tequilia BLAST! At least it had a piece lime with it, I prefer the lime to the lemon. Then more Martinis, even a friend's Uncle bought me a bevvie that sweet guy! Thanks Murray! More Dirty Hookers, this time I bought the round, then Damir came back for a Blowjob! Sorry WITH a Blowjob (gotta keep the audience captivated!) that was a bit more difficult because you couldn't use your hands and I don't swallow well with my mouth open. Oh my gawd did I just type that OUT LOUD!?!?!?!? Good thing my parents don't read this. More Martini's and then people started to leave. That made me sad because I had to be there until 9:30 for sure because the boy got off work at that time and was meeting me there. So it was like 8:30 and I decided to tell the boy just to pick me up cause no one else was showing. Then I phoned Zenon to give him shit for not being there and as it turned out he and Chewie (yay Chewie!) were on their way. So phone the boy back and tell him that he has to come upstairs. I was happy again! Plus Lorne and Danielle stayed for a while so that was good! Even if they were both younger than me...... Zenon and chewie show up and Zenon has a card that inside he wrote "You're 30, it sucks, that's it it just sucks.". I appreciated the honesty. Lorne brought me some very weird and might I add questionable gag gifts. Pocky sticks, which were fine, I actually like those, some odd form of chocolate and nut mixture that turned into powder in your mouth, and for some very strange reason, dried squid eggs and they smelled AWFUL! So strange he is. So the night went on and both Danielle and Lorne left, so Chewie, Zenon and I settled in to the couches to watch the Oilers game while we waited for Mike. Oh and we ordered some nachos which were fantastic! Mike gets there and orders some wings and a drink. While we are watching the Oilers game, the Moose game across the street let out. So it started to get busy and we were on the couches watching the game having some funny conversations, that I don't really remember, and this couple comes up to us and asks if we would mind if they sat down on the couch opposite us, that was empty. We said go right ahead, head being the operative word in this case. They sat down and no more the 5 minutes later and they were all over each other on the couch. I was totally blown away, as was the guy on the couch just about. I mean I saw more taste buds then a tongue depressor that night (Rim Shot!) . Then they got up to go get a beer and Zenon and I just looked at each other like, seriously? Then he says one of his best ever lines, probably since "Oh fuck my ass!" as we were heading dangerously towards a ditch on the highway once in the winter a few years ago, he says "You know I am all in but it's all or nothing and I have a wetnap riiiight here!". I nearly wet my pants laughing. Then he rubs his hands together almost as they headed back. I would have been alot more offended had the couple been ugly. Well the tongues come back out, and in, and out. I mean they were in ears, in mouths and all over necks. Then there is hands up shirts and on zippers. Then I start to get loud, "When did they start charging by the hour couch usage here?" sort of remarks. The guy gets up to leave and the chick is hanging on his leg, total desperation, and it's clear right there, they weren't a couple per se, they had met on the street corner after the Moose game for the first time and were totally loaded! How gross! I mean now that I am 30, HOW GROSS! I haven't done that with a perfect stranger since I was 20 and certainly not in a public venue like a pub! Then the table behind us is starting to get loud, and one guy says to his table of friends "Come on it's true love! It's love! What's wrong with that." I turned around and looked at one of the girls and she had tears in her eyes she was laughing so hard! And then I lost it. I was laughing out loud and not censoring my laughter at all. Finally they got up and left and they got a round of applause from the bar and I yell out as they left "Don't forget to leave the $20 on the nightstand before you go!" And a loud round of laughter after that. We left shortly thereafter cause the Oilers game was over and they lost - again! Getting a little tired of losing gentlemen! Oh well, we all go home and (ahem) sleep. It was a good night overall. Thanks to all that came out and to those who tried but couldn't make it, thanks for the effort it's just as appreciated as if you actually there. Well other then that life has been pretty boring. Volleyball has been up and down. Work has been a constant..... well just a constant. Home life hasn't changed too much neither. So that's it folks. Smoke 'em if you got 'em! You ain't gotta go home, but you gotta get the hell outta here! That's it that's all!

J-BOMB OUT!

Thank God I Woke Up!

So I had a fairly bizarre dream life last night. Odder even more so was the fact that I only had about 4 hours of sleep due to my increasingly noisy neighbours to the east of me! Why do you need to have loud discussions in your bedroom after 1 AM? I don't get it???!?!!?! Anyways. The first place I remember it starting was me living in my house, so hey, good dream, I have finally progressed to a home in a house, happy happy joy joy!! Then someone on my freebie list (check my profile to see said list if you wish) and I had a romantic encounter. Yeah yeah bad me, whatever!!! He's not real and he's on MY FREEBIE LIST!!! It's not like this is a real person I would ever be with in real life. Funny historical side note, I am not sure if the boy would so much go along cause I have never asked about the fact if he was ok with my freebie list. Ask not, it's easier to deny later!! But I ended this romancic adventure even before it got really started because I was attached in my dream too. But hey getting to dream of one kiss with a guy on your freebie list is still pretty eff'n cool! Then I'm not sure how I got there but all of a sudden I was moving back out west, which would be awesome if I could afford it and my real life romance person would follow. I even had my old Dakota back to make the move. Oh how I miss that truck! Packing up boxes in the back and stuff and it felt good too, good like how you feel after you have made a smart decision. But boy was also following me there. Not the freebie list boy. So hot! (drool) Oh anyhow it did seem like that portion of the dream wasn't a separate incident from the first part. It felt like it gelled together properly. Then somehow we ended up in another apartment in Winnipeg and all of the boys family was in our apartment. Curiouser and curiouser... they never come over, even the ingrate of an exgirlfriend-sorry-excuse-for-a-parent-pain-in-the-ass from across the hall. And she gave me attitude in my dream so I let her have it! Better yet, so did the rest of the family. IT WAS AWESOME! I felt vindication, not just for myself but for everyone involved with that psycho! And then I went down to have coffee with a male friend and that psycho followed me and tried to listen in on our conversation like she was going to catch me saying something inappropriate to my friend that would be incriminating and then tell the boy on me. How high school! Then the boy came down to join us for coffee and they actually got along like they were old buddies! That was fantastic! Made my dream day! So let's take stock shall we...... 3 very positive things and one lusty positive thing and all it took was one mind numbingly freaky thing to jolt me awake in a cold sweat! We went back upstairs to our apartment and all of a sudden the boy and I had a baby. I don't know what the hell kind of elevator we were in but let me tell you I won't go into that one in real life. Scary. Wanna know why? I don't remember the labour (maybe that's not the scary part) and this baby was teeny weeny. And it's neck flopped even when I was supporting it. I was swaddling this baby, pardon me, MY baby, and noticed that she (hey at least it was a girl) was poopy so I wanted to change her. As I removed old dirty diaper the baby kind of dragged various body limbs through the "dirt" so I had to now bathe this infant. I remember being very concerned at getting "dirt" on me too so I was holding her like a nuclear reactor, arms straight out parallel to the floor, and then simply running her under the tap in the bathroom sink. I really don't remember it being that easy. However I did remember to test the water temperature with my elbow. I even used baby soap. Then back to the bedroom to replace with a non "dirt" filled diaper and put baby back to bed; well there was no crib to be found. Oh and I couldn't swaddle her properly at all. So I got frustrated and the boy actually cozied her up and put her to bed, in our bed right in the middle. Not like she's gonna roll off, she's a newborn. I was tired too, I felt like a new mother, just drained..... totally out of steam like I have been doing it for hours. Looking after the infant you perverts! I went into check on her and the boy had put her to sleep on the wrong side. So I got all scared of her having SIDS or some other sleeping disorder. He says "Just put Sheba in the room and she'll let us know if anything goes wrong." Who's Sheba you ask..... Well in real life she was my first ever dog, a German Sheppard and the best one ever. She was part of the family before I was, and she was the mother of all dogs. Didn't matter what kind of babies were in the house, humans, kittens she was there ready to mother them. She had 2 rather large litter of puppies herself. We had a cat who had kittens and Sheba couldn't wait for the Dribbles (the mother cat) to go out for a pee break so she could get into that litter box and take care of those kittens. Dribbles would come back in and find all kittens freshly washed by Sheba and dripping in dog slobber. It was hilarious. Back to my dream, one more positive - I finally have a DOG! But this Sheba wasn't a Sheppard, well maybe a Sheppard cross, but definitely with Rotti and Lab traits to her. My perfect dog choice! So in came Sheba to watch over baby and I left the room, just as I was closing the door I awoke. Now lets just brush up on your "January Doesn't Want Babies" history...... I don't want to be a mother. Yes I was drenched in sweat, babies are SCARY! I am fairly certain that this dream just solidified that decision I made oh so long ago. I felt like I was breaking this baby. (shiver) So waking up is now a good thing for more then just knowing I'm not dead! As I was recounting this story to a co-worker this afternoon she asked "What the FUCK did you eat last night????" So note to self: no more french onion soup and reubens for supper!!!


J-BOMB OUT!! (considering a tubalectomy!)

'Tis the Season to Over Indulge!

And did I ever! I tell ya! I over spent, I over ate and I over slept! It was beautiful! My mommy flew up from Kenora to finish off some of her shopping and then we drove back down together on Friday night. I got some stuff for the girls and for wrapping and stuff like that. Then I went to buy my Aunt's slippers and the debit came back NSF. Ooops! I was doing so well. Ahh well what else is new! So mom paid for gas to get us to Kenora. Sweet huh? We went for lunch with my buddy from volleyball and exchanged Christmas gifts and cards. He gave me 2 more tapestries from Africa. They are so nice. I am gonna frame them and hang them on a wall sometime soon! We went to Joey's for lunch and it was awful! It started off ok except that my buddy was late. But hey traffic was a bitch everywhere that day! Then our server was a bit annoying, everytime we ordered something he gave the description that was in the menu that we had already read which was why we were opting for that item. Then we ordered some appetizers, we had hummus and pita with other toppings and it was great. My friend ordered ginger beef and it was good. So we ordered our main dishes with another long and annoying explanation of what we were ordering. It took a long long time for the food to come out. My mom ordered a beef dip and my buddy had a club house and I had a quesadilla. They brought out my mom's and my buddy's food first. And it was a good five minutes before I got mine. Now if anything should have come out first it should have been the quesadilla cause it's so easy to make. That was weird. Then it turns out that both the other dishes were cold. So it seemed like maybe the guy forgot to order mine and he waited for mine to be done before he brought out the other two dishes. Well that cooled off everything. My buddy sent his back and even his fries were soggy. So they said they would re-make his lunch. My mom's was cold but it's the sort of meal that if it's cool it's still edible. So my buddy's "new" meal comes out and it's just been reheated. The cheese is melted now and so is the lettuce. He just took the chicken out of the bun and ate it. Then the manager came over and he asked if everything was alright and my buddy told him everything, it was kinda cool to see him step up like that. I don't think I have ever seen him do that. So they comped my mom's and buddy's meals and we told the manager that we were kind of in a hurry so we were expecting our check right away but we waited another 15 minutes for the check. It wasn't the greatest experience. Ahh well, then we said our goodbyes, went back to my apartment to get the stuff we bought the night before and loaded up Delilah! That's my cars new name. It's a good skanky name. And she's a red car so I needed a whore-like name for her! Anyways we got on the road after I said goodbye to Mike and got home later that night to Kenora. There are other stories before the Christmas break, but they all have to do with vomiting so I will save the Norovirus fun for another time (Damn you Zenon!) Saturday was a pretty boring day, my mom and I played this stupid computer game for like 8 straight hours and then I made my famous chicken and linguine in a white wine sauce for supper and then we watched "The Devil Wears Prada" and played the game again. That movie is so good. Sunday was the big day. We had a big dinner at my moms and I went off my "no potato" rules for the weekend and it was sooooooooo worth it! My mommy makes the bestest mash potatoes EVER! They were so good! Every last carb! With gravy on top! Merrr (drool)! But for some reason I was in a bad mood. I still don't know why but I was just bitchy as bitchy could be. If any of my family reads this they can attest to that. Then we opened presents which made me in a better mood. I like watching the people open the presents that I bought for them. That's my favourite part of Christmas. My nieces loved the clothes I bought them and they got this neat paint set from Mike and I and I put some other stuff in the same present like hair things and barrettes like that. I got my mom the cordless phone she wanted. It even has an answering machine on it so she has no excuse not to call me back if I leave a message for her. I bought my "big" brother a PS2 game he wanted and I got my dad a couple of DVDs and socks and a shirt. I got a whole bunch of clothes which is cool, I got some silky pj's, I got a gift card to the Bay and Season 7 of Buffy! I am now complete because the boy bought me Season 1 last night at Future Shop for like $20. I am only missing like 2 discs from Season 3 that I lost somehow. I think someone threw them out on me mid spat probably. I got socks that don't fit they are miles too long! We went to my bro's the next day to celebrate with my dad over a early afternoon brunch type of thing. We had cold cuts and cheese and crackers and stuff like that. It was good but I was still full from breakfast. A holiday tradition is steak and eggs Christmas morning with my mom. And we have Arctic Mist. It's yummy! Basically it's O.J. and 7 UP with vodka and blended so it's all frothy! So good! Nothing like starting your day with alcohol! Then it was all relaxing except when my mom would swear like a sailor at the computer game! Kinda funny! She taught me all the good swear words. I think I learned a few new ones this weekend. I went and saw my friends new house on the way back to Winnipeg. Her and her hubby (who are expecting in the spring) bought a house on Redditt Road and it's really nice. A good first house! They can fix it up for cheap and sell it for more. It has a huge basement! A great big deck on the front. Lucky kids! then back I came and went over the the "in-laws" and I got more gifts which was unexpected. I got some really nice slippers and some really good smelling shower gel and chocolates! And then Linda got me this really beautiful Lancome Hypnose perfume set. It a wonderful scent too! I love it. I think I found my signature scent, I got some lotion with it and I am wearing it right now and I smell so pretty! I missed all the drama too while I was in Kenora. The sycophant across the hall went bonkers and freaked out on Mike, Jay and Linda on the busiest day of the year at the store. It started with her calling Mike at like 9AM on saturday just to talk. Mike has been sick for the last week with the flu and hasn't been sleeping well, so this was the first day he got to sleep without interruption from me or the cats and she wakes him. What a stupid bitch! Then she wants him to basically do some Christmas shopping for him. Just go to WalMart and pick up some stuff for a present for a friend of a friend. Mike's been dizzy and vomiting for 3 days, so he said no and hung up on her. She never does anything just to talk, there's always strings attached with this psycho. And Mike can't watch baby so she can walk her ass the 5 minutes to WalMart cause we don't want baby to get sick. So she phoned Jay at work like 12 times and freaked out and said she hated Mike, he is so selfish blah blah blah. Jay's like I can't deal with this it's too busy here right now. Then she calls and talks to Linda and says the same thing except now that she isn't coming over for Christmas and neither is the baby. I thought you selfish fuckin bitch! If there is one person who has done more for her then Linda has I would be shocked and you are going to punish the one person who does everything for you by not letting her see her grandson for Christmas. Such a bitch just cause she can't have her way! I mean really-GROW UP! Spoiled little brat! Mike even said his mom was so mad she called Laura names when she got off the phone with her. I swear if I was there when all of this happened I would have beaten the shit out of her. Ungrateful snot! I was so mad, I still am! I mean Linda has basically raised that kid. Laura hasn't done anything. I mean she forces the kid to sleep 8 times a day so she can sleep all the time, and then when someone else is watching them she demands that they keep the baby awake while they have them, so in reality the people that are watching the baby are doing all the actual parenting work. I mean if that kid wasn't cute I bet Laura wouldn't pay any attention to him at all. The only time she even pays attention to him is if someone is saying how cute the baby is because that's a reaffirmation at that she is cute. The chick drives me insane! But to go after Mike's mom just frosts my nerves. I love that woman, she is one of the most patient and sweet people on the planet Earth and she didn't deserve to have to deal with her at all! Not after everything she does for Logan. You should never bite the hand that feeds you. She hasn't dared to knock on our door since this bullshit started either Mike said. I accidentally took her Christmas present with me to Kenora because I got it and left it in my purse. Mike wasn't going to give it to her he was so mad. But then she realized she would be alone probably because none of her friends can stand to have her over, and brought baby over for Christmas dinner and stayed herself. So she got her food and her presents. Such a selfish spoiled brat! And they all pretended to be nice to her cause if they don't she threatens to take the kid and not let them see him and they love that little boy. You cant help it he's so damned cute! Jay moved out again! Packed his clothes that night and took some important stuff and left. He should have taken the baby with him. Let her deal with trying to get the baby back. That poor kid, I fell so bad for him cause he has a psycho for a mother. He's never going to be number one in her life cause she is her own number one. So sad. Well I got a little ranty at the end here. And it is the end I am tired and need to go home from work now! Yay! These 3 day work weeks are a bitch I tell ya! I think the sponsor word for this blog entry should be bitch! I would like to take this time to thank our sponsor - BITCH for this entry. Thanks BITCH! That's it that's all!
J-BOMB OUT!

Nothing Overly Exciting...

Hey all! Just thought I would catch you all up about the goings on in my life. Hahaha! There really isn't much to tell. Last week we had our Client Christmas Party next door. It was kinda blah this year. The location was better because it had more room and all but the actually party part of it sucked. I was bored to tears the whole night. The clients that came up were cool, bought it was mostly my fellow employees that annoyed me. We for some bizarre reason let the entire phone room supervisor staff come along. Big mistake! They were supposed to mingle with the guests, they only mingled with eachother. Morons! And they drank to excess. Then some of the new people decided it was time to try and hook up with people. And the person that wanted to hook up with them got mad that they weren't getting any attention. It was all very high schoolish. Then all the good looking clients left by like 7pm. Well that kind of blows my Christmas spirit right there. I dunno it just paled in comparison to last year which was a riot! And we missed a couple of people (wink wink). Then the next day I had my volleyball Christmas party. And that was a good time! We all brought food, and we regifted presents and played a dvd game. Then as the last few of us were leaving Jen discovered her car keys were missing. It turns out they fell into Rom's baby bag somehow and they were on their way to East St Paul. Fun!!! So I drove her to a half way point where Rom brought us the keys and then we went back to Marv's (the house where the party was at) and gathered up her kids and she went home. It was kind of funny. Then we played ball on sunday and we just leveled the other team. It was like playing a bunch of 10 year olds. So we decided to attempt some plays. And it worked out ok. We had fun nonetheless. This week has been ok I guess. Mike went back to work after his knee surgery on Monday. And it only lasted 1 day because from what I hear he stressed himself out and they sent him home. So he was in a "super" mood the rest of this week. Same drama every year. It's getting tiresome. I play my last league night this sunday before the holiday break. I plan on going home on friday the 23rd after work. My mom might be up so I will have some company on the way home. Plus she will be in my car so I get to rule the music! HAHAHA! I'm such a "trip commander". Inside joke! (wink) Well it's just about quitting time here so I am gonna go and clean up some stuff and head home. See ya all later. I probably won't update again before the holidays so

Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. May the best of 2006 be the worst of 2007! (figure it out!!)

J-BOMB OUT!

Everything Is Even Steven....But Who Is This Steven Guy Who Is So Even???

Hello again everyone! Hope things in your respective worlds have been good for you. Things here have been pretty calm considering the time of year it is. It gets a bit insane for the boy at this time. He doesn't really get any time off (not even for good behaviour). He works at a toy store and with it being Christmas season it stands to reason he works like a dog. I haven't really seen too much of him in the past 2-3 weeks. Probably explains why we've been mostly getting along eh? Haha. What else can I tell ya? Went to Kenora a couple of weeks back for my niece's birthday and it was fun. Went to the 94th Grey Cup here in Winnipeg and it was AWESOME! Even if my Bombers weren't in it. But I had fun there, and Nelly Furtado was HOT! Good times were had by all. I wasn't really paying much attention to the game though. It was a pretty boring game. Not alot going on. No big blowout but not alot of tension either. The night before the Grey Cup we went out to The Keg with friends (Mel and Zenon) and it was of course a great night! Had a good dinner. Not a great dinner but it was good. Everyone’s steak was somewhat under cooked. Even for me and I like it moo-ing almost. I like a very thick red strip in my steak. But this was chewy red, but so tasty. I didn't even partake in the potato. I had rice. And it came with these amazing shrimp with cheese on them. That made the dinner plate for me. And we shared Szechwan green beans as an appetizer and they were genius! We had desserts too. We never do that. But the company was good, even though they left out the most important part, the baby boy! But I can forgive it. I don't think he would appreciate the steak yet. Being not even 1 yet. Then we went home. It was nice. Very enjoyable. Volleyball has been ok so far. We did go down a tier but we should pretty much dominate and move up again next round. We kicked some booty last weekend! It was great! I got to be on the radio this week. I put in the Office Mix on a local radio station Q94 and I got to talk to the deejay and introduce some songs on air. It was taped over the phone of course but it was funny, and there was even a bit of witty banter. Thanks for the call Mel!! That was funny! I mostly giggled through the whole thing. We got some cool "swag" too. A free copy of U2 18 singles, and a dinner at Shannon's Irish Pub and a couple of passes to the movie "The Holiday" that they are presenting. Even Pete caught some of my performance where I said that Ticketmaster were good guys! We've had so many new guys in our office lately, we had our newest tech leave on holidays the day before the Grey Cup, so we had to pull in Tech from other cities. So a guy from Edmonton and a guy from Calgary came in last week. It was neat cause I got to communicate with them for about a week prior to them coming down about whether or not they would even have rooms to stay in cause it was Grey Cup here and the city was at like 95% capacity in hotel room. So we would email back and forth about cost and stuff, and I could only get one room for them to share on one of the nights so I said that Hey it has a King bed and a hot tub - have fun! It all turned out, I worked some magic at one of the hotels close to us and got them in there for most of their stay. I hadn't met one of them yet but they were at the game but I didn't get to meet them cause they were in a different section. So on Monday morning one of them walked in and I swear I almost went slack-jawed. This was the HOTTEST guy I have ever seen in person before. He walks in and introduces himself and I can hardly make words come out of my mouth. So I show him in and go back to my desk and immediately call the girls at the supervisor desks in the phone room and tell them to go to Tech for ANY reason necessary. Danielle calls me back and says "When he walked in the phone room every girl stopped their call to stare, and maybe a few guys too!" Just stupid pretty this guy is. It was a good week. Gotta love the menu, cause I can look I just can't order off of it. And then at the end of the week we all went out for lunch, or at least we were supposed to and it ended up just being this guy and some of the girls from the office, but we had a good lunch and he bought. I thought that was super, super nice. Didn't know nice guys came that good looking. So all the girls had nice hair that week, it was kinda funny. I don't think he quite knew what to do with it. But our office is severely missing that one special hot hot hot guy, and we got him for a week. I mean we have good looking guys in our office, but this guy was just - wow! Now we have another guy in and he's cute too, I don't know what they feed their Techs out west but we ought to adopt the same diet for out here. We haven't had a cute tech since George left (heheheheh!), and considering what we had to look at before George in the Tech world, well damn this was all just too sudden. I shoulda downloaded a virus just to get him at my desk more often. Just kidding. Of course it's all just for fun, I mean I love my boy and he's a handsome feller too. Nice ass! Well I guess I have used up this spot pretty good. I will be back sooner then later I am sure! Have a good week all!!! J-BOMB OUT!

This and That

Hello all! I know it's been a while, just about a month. I was a little bored maybe since the past drama I guess. Which is good for me personally, but boring reading for my blog. Not that alot of people read my blog (Thanks Jenn and George!) Things have been ok I guess for the past couple of weeks. Been busy at work, which keeps me out of trouble. Still playing volleyball 2-3 times a week. Hosted a mini-dinner party for Mike, me, Mel, Zenon and baby Ben. I even blew off volleyball for it. Nice me huh?!?! It was so much fun too. I made Lasagna and garlic toast and caesar salad. It all went over well. Although Mel and Zenon had to eat in shifts. One watches Ben and then the other eats. Zenon got the first eating shift the lucky bastard. I don't mean to toot my own horn but there were some lovely sounding yummy noises that were very much appreciated. And Mel made the most amazing thing for dessert. It's like a chocolate chip cookie cake. AWESOME! It really was a chocolate chip cookie the size of a cake, and it was sooooo good. I still drool as I think about it, and this was a couple of weeks ago now. So we decided to do this like once a month and make an evening out of it. One couple makes the dinner and the other makes the dessert. Who ever makes the dinner hosts it at their place. IT was funny cause Zenon and Mel are Coke drinkers and Mike and I are not. So when I went to go and get all the stuff for the makings I bought a two litre of Coke, then when Mike came home he had a two litre of it too, and then when they came over they had a two litre as well. Too funny and of course they didn't take it with them so we had 3 two litres of Coke in the apartment. We still have a litre left. I find Coke gives me chest pains. Strange. Then after dinner we played a half version of Trivial Pursuit. Instead of using the board, which takes forever and a day, we just asked eachother questions and whoever answered 20 right first wins. I WON!!! NEENER NEENER NEENER!!!!! I rule all!! In fact I got an email that stated that fact nicely the other day. You input your name and it tells you what you were destined to be. And mine was a nice confirmation of what I have always known, I am supposed to be emperor of all the world!!! Want to know what you are supposed to be, leave a comment with your first and last name and I will tell you what you are supposed to be. This will be fun.
Volleyball has been up and down, we have been playing well just not well enough to win. The team cohesion is wearing down. And it never helps that we seem to be playing with different people every time. We need to win our next two games or we will move down to the last tier - AGAIN! I don't want to do that. Lorne finally joined our team, which is nice to add some depth and height to our team. We should be able to win this game tomorrow. We play at 11 AM though. That sucks. Plus tonite I am in an all night volleyball social tournament. I don't really know how it works but hopefully it will be fun. I think it will. But I won't be drinking I don't think, not if I have to play the next morning. Then after the Sunday league game I will play again at 5:30 with the same group in the social tournament. It's fun! I just dyed my hair.... I can't tell what it looks like yet though cause it's still wet. I am getting antsy though, I may have go and take a peek ......................still to hard to tell it just looks wet-dark. I could blow dry it but that just takes away from the excitement! I can wait ........ can you? You can't??? Are you sure??? Alright then I shall go and look just for you then . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . DAMMIT! It's just dark :( I wanted Auburn not chocolate! This is very disappointing! :( Well at least the grays are gone! That's a glass half full outlook I guess I can try out. Not to mention how nice my hair smells....sniff. I love that smell. And the new body soap I bought smells really good too, I smell like a perfume counter. I kinda like it though. Well I am off now, I got laundry to do and other boring monotonous crap.
J-BOMB! OUT!

Accidental Glitch or Not?

Ok so I had a post that I put up last wednesday, and it was a pretty personal and angry post. I think also it was some of my best writing in it. Basically it was an email fight between me and the boy about going out with a male friend of mine. I said I wanted to go out for dinner to catch up with my dear friend, whom I haven’t seen for a month. He’s been away in Africa doing some really good stuff with the company he works for. I told the boy that I was going to go out for dinner with him and he freaked out but not until a day later when the email happened. To make a long story less long, he said go out for dinner with him and find a new place to live. I took great offence to this threat and felt like he didn’t trust me to hang out with him. Like I would jump this guy’s bones right at dinner on the table. Or that this guy would try it with me. And that’s just laughable as it is. There is zero romantic energy between my friend and me. None. I tried to explain that fact I don’t know how many times (even before this debacle) but to avail. So I ceded the dinner for a lunch. I emailed back my friend and he was a little shocked that the boy takes this stance with him. And I agree, it’s very insulting, to both of us. And the boy knows my friend as well, it’s not like they are total strangers. But I guess I kind of leaned on my friend (as friends do) when the boy and I were having issues at the beginning of summer. And really it wasn’t even that big of a deal. So back to the issue at hand. The boy said he would have felt better if we had been going out to dinner with a group of people, or had lunch instead of dinner. So group sex and lunch time quickies are ok then? Har har. So we went to Olive Garden and we didn’t even decide that until the day we went for lunch. He beat me there cause traffic was insane. So I go up to the table and he has this really pensive look on his face. I think he was half expecting the boy to be with me. So we had a good talk, and he told me he fell in love in Africa with someone. I was tickled. I love it when my friends have good news when my life sucks. There of course are some strings for the poor guy but hey he doesn’t ever seem to fall for the easy ones. Do you? Anyways, lunch was good, I even got presents! He brought back mahogany and iron wood bracelets and a handmade tapestry. I thought that was sweet. He asked if I was allowed to accept them, I was like eff’n rights man, I love presents! Gimme, gimme, gimme! My friend was concerned about what was going on. And we talked about it and he had some sage advice for a guy who’s never been in a relationship. Thanks man. I came home after work and listened to aggressive music very loudly. It was a nice release. I love to play the music really loud and attempt to sing along. So I sing? Umm not even a little bit but I can dream can’t I? The boy comes home and we have a decent night. He spent a good chunk of it over at his brothers, again. Whatever. The next day I was heading out to Kenora for Thanksgiving weekend. I was so looking forward to turkey and ham, no mash potatoes but hey that’s ok. My mom has sucky mash potatoes; at least that was what I was telling myself in order to not feel too upset about not getting to have any. Sour grapes are GREAT! I drove at a decent pace all the way. And I had this little cat and mouse game with an older model Honda Accord. And the driver was an older model too. Ha! From about the end of the 4 way highway to the bypass turn off that heads into Kenora we kept passing each other in long line ups. It was kinda funny. So when the highway splits he takes the ‘Toban way into Kenora. That’s when you get off the highway to go through Keewatin. Only ‘Tobans do that. The other way is quicker. And as he’s going off the ramp on the right he’s speeding up so that he’s right beside my right side. Then he waves. Odd. A little disconcerting even. So I give a timid little wave and hit the gas. Had a good afternoon with my mom and then we went to my brother’s house for cake and coffee for my niece’s 9^th birthday. I can’t believe she is 9 now. Just yesterday she was like 2 in my head. And she got the cutest hair cut. She looks like a little lady now. I got her Hallowe’en costume for her birthday present. She wanted to be a vampire. Easy enough. Got her some fake blood and teeth and nails and stuff. And I got this wicked Nikki Six wig for her but I think my brother is gonna wear it instead. He’s such an 80’s guy! All of the nieces and nephews from my sister in laws side were over. What a bunch of pretty little girls in that family. Boy oh boy. And they all look like their mothers, but they don’t look like each other, and all the mothers are sisters. It’s funny. I get back home and mom and I decide to play Canasta. We haven’t played that in a while. I won the first game and she won the second. It was pretty late by the time we finished playing so she went to bed and I went on the computer to check my email. And there it was. Oilerman had made a comment on my blog, so I thought wow, he must be pissed. I log into my blog to read the comment, and the entry is no longer there. So I go back and read my email and he explains that he accidentally deleted the post when he meant to delete his comment that he posted twice. I’m thinking, tha’ts impossible to do unless you are logged in as an administrator. Well as it turns out I had been logged into my blog at one point on his browser as an administrator and it kept me that way the next time he viewed my blog. So he claimed that all he meant to do was delete the comment he made, but somehow he not only deleted the my entry from the blog site but he also deleted it out of the history. The blog title doesn’t’ even come up. I am totally pissed now. He was pissed too because the entry I made had excerpts from our email fight. He thought I was invading his privacy by posting that email on the net. I didn’t post his email address, just parts that were pertinent to the argument. He thought I was making him out to be the bad guy. Derr. So he posted to that fact, and because he’s the one who posted it originally I am going to include it on this entry. He says:

“I may as well comment to this. I guess I could act like you and find a rather public format to drag your name through mud day in and day out. It's like you've written a diary, and left it open to everyone but myself. Maybe if you communicated half as much as this to me, you wouldn't be on trying to tell the world how evil of a person I am. I guess its considered cool to publish a private conversation between a girlfriend and boyfriend for all too see. I'll re-read all of the text later to match it to the emails... since I run the chance that the letters have been edited. I'm not here to comment on what your latest issue is. Perhaps I should tape record all of our conversations, take issue with you, and then play them over the intercoms at work one day to garner the public's opinion. I'm sure they enjoy a good soap opera as much as the next person. I am firmly and resolutely certain that you would not appreciate such an action the slightest bit. Don't bother comparing the two... as your blog is listed as a signature in the bottom of every email you send to anyone. That's just as much advertisement as I could muster by playing recorded conversations over a loudspeaker in a store full of people. If you become even more popular on here, I'll step it up to a busy saturday afternoon at a large shopping mall Public Announcement system. You get the point. I hope. I wonder if people are asking you why your still with such a close minded heathen of a man? What do you tell them? You're just a sucker for punishment? You're doing God's work by trying and trying to change the pitifully awful person you call your boyfriend? Or that I'm just a stepping stone until something better comes along? Have no where else to go? Blog about that question next, please. We've also had a ton of good times together. Other people have blogs that discuss the good things in their lives. If you're such a positive person, you could have made quite a few entries of all the good times you've had. Did you? I've read your posts just as everyone else has. No sense in getting into banter about this point after my post, because we both know deep down the good has outweighed the bad by a fair margin. I state this to question the perspective you are broadcasting to everyone.
I am real disappointed. People need to vent, I understand that. But personal emails? I see no responses yet. Maybe people feel kinda weird about that. How would you feel? Well, I've lived with you for about 8 years now. I'm pretty sure I know how you'd feel.
I guess I've had a chance now to come in and write rebuttals to this. However, this is your blog. Online diary if you well. One writes ( types ) their feelings in here and that's pretty much that. I could have come in and also listed pages of things that you do like about me, or all the decent things I've done. You'd agree with them too. I know you would. I have no doubt about it. But those are things we share together, aren't they? Is that why you leave them out of your blog? I don't go around only showing what I dislike about you to everyone I know. I wish you wouldn't either. We both possess qualities that we're proud to tell others of and the same qualities are why we're still with each other for so long.
Now I know you'll end up responding, but instead of instantly responding.. first, just really read what I've said. I love you. Don't do something like this post again. I know you wouldn't like it.”

Ok so you got some stuff off of your chest. And yes you made some good points. I however do have a few counter points. Of all the entries on my blog I have only slagged you really bad since we broke up. That’s par for the course. And let’s face it, it hasn’t been all sweetness and light since we decided to get back together either. All the good stuff that has happened between us has happened before I started this blog. Aside from the engagement that is and I blogged that the day after it happened. A blog is about venting and getting emotions out that you aren’t prepared to say to someone in person. And honestly I didn’t even want you reading it if I can be very blatant, not because I didn’t want you to read what I was saying about you specifically but because I didn’t want to have to censor myself – period. But what you aren’t understanding or taking into consideration I guess is that wounds take time to heal. And sweetheart there were some fairly large emotional wounds that happened that night. It was devastating. I had a future laid out for us and then in one foul swoop it was gone, and not just gone but destroyed. That takes time to rebuild. Trust, which was what the original post pretty much centred around, has to be re-established. Now to the fact that I took an email word for word and put in on the blog, fine I won’t take a personal email between us and post it. But now think about why you are really mad about it. Could it be because it showed some colours you do your best to hide from everyone who isn’t me? Because maybe people would take my side? You might have to face that you were being unreasonable. That’s something that maybe you need to live with. As to the question as to what I am doing with you still after everything, it’s called hope. Hope that we can work it out. Hope that we can make it happen. Hope that we can mend what went wrong and not make the same mistakes. 8 years is a long time to be with one person. It’s hard to throw that away. Even over fundamental differences that we do have. So meet me half way is all I ask. Please.

J-BOMB out.

Shine On

If you will indulge me I would like to add my two cents on the Montreal violence that occurred just last week. It's actually taken me about this long to formulate some thoughts beyond emotion about this subject. Having been through a similar situation in Calgary, however much less tragic as no one died, it made me feel…. what I am not sure. I just know it disturbed me to the point of not being able to express these sensations with words. I just kept thinking, why does this keep happening even after everything that was learned from Montreal 17 years ago and Columbine just 7 years ago. Maybe the extremes to which the States have gone to with metal detectors at school entrances isn’t a bad idea after all. And I keep wondering what was going through this guys head that made him take an arsenal of weapons to a school which hasn’t even been determined whether or not he was a student of. I keep thinking that he must have been really pissed off, or mad at someone there but it doesn’t follow along the evidence that has so far been uncovered. And he was 25 so it’s not like you could blame it on bullying, because by that age you should know how to deal with your feelings better then to pick up an assault rifle and take matters into your own hands. So then I just get mad at him. Like he would care if he knew I was angry with him for taking someone’s life I didn’t even know. And then his mom says he was a nice kid, always smiling and things like that. If you notice through out the bible and mythology when describing all things evil, they are usually grinning and seem happy. Why, because they know what they are doing is wrong and they know they are going to get away with it. Just like this guy did. So maybe he was evil in the true and most frightening sense of the word. Does that explain it away? No, not so much for me. What made this guy evil? Where did he get the right to take away someone’s life because he was mad? Who gave him that unlimited power to decide who lives or dies? These are the questions that have kept me awake for a week. Is it morbid that I want to know these things? I don’t think it is. It’s human nature to want to have an explanation to why bad things happen or why bad people do what they do. I feel bad for his mom. She must be just devastated that her son did these things. And that’s what he was, he was someone’s son that was loved. He had family and friends and a home. And in one brief and excruciating decision he threw it all away. My god why? Why on earth would you want to give that up? I can’t imagine taking my own life away from my family, because in that moment your family gets taken away from you. I couldn’t live without my family. And I couldn’t live with myself if I felt what it was like to take a light from someone else’s family. To deliberately take away the life of another, someone who is loved and loves, someone who is bright and young and has so many possibilities laid before her, someone who’s lit up a room for someone else, because we do that for someone out there. Whether or not we know it, we make people happy just by showing up, being there. To those of you, who do that for me, thank you. Maybe he didn’t have someone who did that for him. But I bet he did it for someone. And now that someone doesn’t have that light anymore. He made a decision, one solitary action that changed the course of that person’s life. Maybe we should all act like we light up someone’s life and we would be better for it. Less selfish and ignorant towards one another. Maybe we should tell someone that they light up your day. Maybe if someone had told him that, she would still be here. And even as I type that sentence out I see how it shifts blame and I apologize for that. Maybe don’t do it for him, do it for her. So I challenge who ever reads this blog, tell someone who lights up your day that they light up your day. Let go of the worry of feeling awkward or weird about it, just do it. See the reaction you get. So here it goes, to the people who light up my day: Darlene, Gary, Curtis, Colleen, Rachelle, Amelia, Christopher, Jana, Chris, Mike, Linda, Aunty J, Hope, Louis, Keila, Zenon, Mel, Benjamin, Chewie, Roxilana, The Petes, Brandy, Lorne, Chris, Sue, Ken, Tyler, Larry, Jeff, Todd, Riot, Sean, Melissa, Bruce, Sherri, Scott, Gio, Peter, Melissa, Danna, Jenn, Jeff, Amy, Jarrett, Sharon, Jen, Clarissa, Arlene, Rom, Victor, Denise. And to those who lit it up while their candle was still burning: Auntie Mar, Uncle Don, Gramma Ethel, Grandpa Duke. Thank you all so much for your parts in lighting up my day.

J-BOMB! OUT!

The Come Uppances Just Keep Comin'!!!

Hey All! And by all I mean Jenn. Ha! So we ended last week with a nice little raise in my salary, and last Friday was payday so I got my new payday amount and it wasn't great but it's still more. The nicest thing was that they paid it retroactive from July 31st. I didn't realize that was happening. I mean I remember Pete showing me the date and it said July 31st but I thought it was just a typo. So I got some good money this payday. Unfortunately it's almost all gone. But I got some stuff done with it that needed to be done. I paid some rent, my car, the insurance for the car and the credit card. I feel very accomplished. Last week we played our finals for Volleyball. Sunday we only got 3rd. But I got the MVP and the Sportsmanlike vote on one of our games! We took the number one spot on Tuesday. We had a good game too but it was getting late and we played our last and decisive match in the dark almost. It was a good game too and it was close and we got to play our favourite team, Sun of a Beach for the title. We love that team. So much fun to play against and usually good competition. I had a doctor's appointment on the Thursday for a procedure to use a semi-permanent form of birth control. It wasn't the most pleasant procedure. Let's just say if I wasn't having kids before due in large part to the fear of phucking up kids royally as a parent then the pain of child birth put it over the edge for me. She (the doctor) said I was experiencing what women in labour with minor contractions felt when they are expanding in the cervical area. Minor contractions.... I can't even imagine what the major ones would be like. Forget it! The apparatus that was used was $360. So the boy paid for that nicely, but he also knew that my insurance was reimbursing me for it 100%. Otherwise he might not have. I mean in the past 8 years I have paid for my birth control pills up until 6 months ago or so. And at $15 a month and 84 months of us being together, that's $1260 of birth control that I paid for, cause I can think of maybe a handful of times that he paid for them. And I didn't have insurance for alot of that time either. And he's asked me 3 times if I sent in the receipt for it yet. Ridiculous. But I digress. That night we had volleyball and I had such bad cramps from the doctor appointment. I was a bit grouchy. But I soldiered on. Oh my god I can't believe I said that. Anyways we beat one of our most hated teams to get to the finals. Then we played our most liked team and technically we tied because we only got 2 games in and we won one and they one the other and we beat each other by the same margin. But our team ceded the championship to them because we joined the league late and they played more then we did and they only played with 3 people and played well. And I got to see Riot! We like Riot. I probably mentioned that dog once or twice before in a prior rant. That's Tall Guy Todd's dog. I asked him to breed Riot with another dog and train a puppy and give it to me. Heh, I don't think he will. But puppy is so cute! So well behaved! Perfect dog. Anyway by the time volleyball was done Thursday it was too cold to go for drinks after I guess cause everyone left. Then Friday I had the day off because I was going to Kenora to babysit the girls while my brother and his wife went on a romantic rendez vous for their 10th Anniversary. How sweet! I had been looking forward to this for like a month now! I love it when I get to spend time with my girls cause they are always so good for me and me alone. Heh! Cause I am "the sweetest, prettiest, nicest hair and I smell like a rose Auntie" according to the youngest one Amelia. Hehehehe, she might be my favourite. Nahh I love em both too much to measure it. The first night we went to the movies and saw "Barnyard" and I highly recommend it! It was so good! Loved it and the kids were the best ones in the theatre. They never talked or walked around or anything. I mean there were some older kids ahead of us that kept talking through the poignant parts of the movie and it was driving me crazy so I shushed them a few times. I felt old after that. Then this little 3 year old behind us kept walking back and forth between parents and yacking and pulling my hair as she used the back of our seats to steady herself as she walked. I didn't even have to have the no talking or no moving talk with my girls before we got there, they just knew better. Then we went home and they had their baths and made no bones about going to bed. We went Walmart the next day and because they were such good kids I bought them each a toy. then that night we went to Gramma's for supper. And they were good there too. They played with Nordika and Annie. And we took Nord for a walk. She doesn't walk so well on a leash but that's not her fault, we never taught her that. Then we watched a movie "RV" and it was pretty funny. We stayed up a bit later though to play Go Fish, and I won everytime thank you! I am so good at that game! I challenge anyone to try and beat me at it! Heh. Then the next morning they played and let Auntie sleep in a bit. Then we cleaned up the bedrooms and the living room and I cleaned up in the kitchen. I was supposed to go for lunch with Brandy but didn't get a chance cause Curt and Colleen came back later then expected and I had to feed the kids lunch. We had Kraft Dinner and it was yummy. Then Curt and Colleen came back and about 5 minutes after that the girls started fighting with each other. Funny how that works. But they were so good all weekend. We watched the first 2 quarters of the football game. Kinda funny cause my brother doesn't watch football, so I was explaining football to a guy. Cause I would woohoo a first down and he would asked "What does the 10 in the 1st and 10 mean?" Hahaha. He's a hockey person. And honestly he's not the most athletic person either. I'm better at sports then he is. So I had to get ready for my volleyball banquet that night and I decided it made more sense to stay in Kenora until like 4 or so and then head to Winnipeg because the banquet started at 6. Just go straight there from Kenora. Then I didn't have to go all the way to my place get ready and fight traffic in the city. It's alot easier to fight highway traffic then city. So I did my hair and I had bought a new pair of jeans and a top on sale before I left Winnipeg on Friday and I even put on make up. Headed out on the highway a little after 4 and of course I left behind a brush. I always leave something behind, it gives me an excuse to come back. Heh! SO I am driving on the highway and second guessing the top I am wearing because everytime I look down I see ALOT of cleavage. So I had another shirt with me in case of this exact reasoning. I like the shirt though. And I thought well I need to change this top before I get to the banquet or it will look dumb going in in one shirt and leaving in another one. So I figured I would do a quick switcharoo on the highway as I was driving. And I am trying to run the logistics of this through my head so that I don't have to be nekked from the waist up for very long. I finally manage to get the shirt I want to wear out of my duffle bag and that was a feat on it's own. So I am thinking....so I take part of the current shirt off and then put the other half of the new shirt on or take the current shirt up so it's only around my neck and then throw the other one on over top of that and slip the arms through? Well it seems that the second option was a bit more dangery then I thought cause I nearly hit the ditch on the first attempt. And then this Lexus comes screaming up behind me as I am pulling the old shirt over my head so I have to nix the change over in a hurry. Did I mention I am travelling at about 115 km/h? So he finally gets ahead of me far enough to get this party started. And I notice another car behind me getting closer so I figure that's it the transfer has to get made and NOW! So I whip off one top and on with the other. It took about 15 seconds in total. I was quite proud of myself and I let out a little giggle too. Heheheh just like that. Get to the banquet and I am the first from my team to get there and I sat with Scott and Gio, a good hubby and wife from another team. They are good people. So we sat and drank and laughed and then some others started to saunter in from my team. Ken and his wife and Tyler and his girlfriend and then Sue came with her hubby a little later. We were all taking pictures and having fun and then the food came. And it was good food let me tell ya. We had Roast Beef and carrots and beans and coleslaw and caesar salad and oh it was so good. And did I mention FREE! It was part of our league fees. And there was like 60 people or so there. My Club Desire (which is a gay bar here in Winnipeg) people were there. They are the team on Sunday nights that beat us out of playing for the finals. Awesome players! They were the ones that gave me MVP and Sportsmanlike. Dar even invited me to a party at his place that night to celebrate. So we are all having fun and finished eating and then the they started the trophy ceremonies. I couldn't believe how many he gave out. Sean really outdid himself on this banquet. He did just an awesome job. I got nominated for Most Sportsmanlike on Thursday nights which was a complete shock mostly because no one swears more then I do on the courts. But I don't swear at the other team or my team mostly at myself when I screw up. But it's more funny then offensive. I do get alot of laughs. Is that good though? But I was nominated against Melissa from Sun of a Beach and Bruce (my good buddy) from Sand In Our Shorts. I didn't have a prayer. Tall Guy Todd had 5 noms all together. All MVP noms mind you. Well he better at 6'6". He is a great player. He was up against Ken on a couple too. We whooted and hollered for his noms everytime he was named. Ken too, and Gio too. Scott got nom'd too for a Sportsmanlike nod. so they are getting through the noms and it's coming up to my category and bruce just showed up a few minutes before the category so he was shocked he was in it. So they are naming the nom's and Sean says "From 3 Hits January" and the whole Club Desire table just erupts it was so funny! And then they mentioned the winner and Sean says "Ok you guys you voted for her, January from 3 Hits!" I was SHOCKED!!!! SHOCKED!!! I didn't think I would even get nom'd but then to win it was awesome! I go up there and I'm like "Ok you people played against me... seriously? Sportsmanlike??" I was laughing and smiling it was so funny. I think even my knees were shaking a bit. I got another nom for Sportsmanlike for the playoffs. And Melissa got the same nom in that category. But who we were up against got it over us which was cool. Got my picture taken for the website! Check it out after Sept. 17th for pics www.cavalierinn.mb.ca. Then Ken went up for two MVP's that he tied for with Tall Guy Todd. Then our team went up for coming in 3rd on Sundays, 1st on Tuesdays and 2nd on Thursdays. So I will have lots of pics on that site come the 17th. Heehehehe. My ass even got pinched! Well it was by Dar who's gay but hey action's action baby! And I might even go so far as to say it's the best action in a while too. Sense the tone! Then they had a silent auction and I didn't win anything and then everyone pretty much left. So went home and showed off my trophy and then got lambasted for having two drinks over a 4.5 hour period and then driving home. Not to mention the amount of food I ate and anyone at the banquet can attest to it. I didn't go up for seconds or anything but my plate was fairly heap worthy. It was just stupid. I am not a drunk driver, I had two drinks over a long period and that was it. That is my limit, I don't have more then that. So that rained all over my pretty parade. He must have known he pissed me off cause he slept on the couch. But of course he'll just say it was from him being mad at me for drunk driving. Evs! Then last night I was about to finish up supper just waiting for the rice and I said something to him about him doing something that was annoying me and he made a snide remark like, "Hey at least I am not drinking and driving." So I left and went out for a bit and said your dinner is done when the dinger goes off and went out for an hour or so. Came home and contemplated not eating cause everything I made he had paid for. But I was hungry and he can kiss my ass. Then I dyed my hair (and it's an awesome red by the way) watched some dvd's cause I still have no cable and then went to bed and you can guess where he slept again. I have to say that I think he has slept more on the couch then in the bed since we moved back in together. Hang on I gotta go home and I will finish up from there.
Ok so I should have stayed at work cause I am on my way home and I got rear ended at a set of lights. Fantastic. 4 cars involved, Me the car behind me the car behind her and the car behind her. I think what happened was I was halfway through the intersection, like maybe a quarter of my car was in the intersection and the girl behind me stopped behind that and then the girl behind her hit her and she hit me. The a guy came up behind the third car and hit her. I think he gets the short end of the stick cause he only caused but didn't take damage. So we all exchanged info and I honestly don't know what to do next. I can't wait for youknowwho to get home. It should be interesting. He better not be a dick cause I couldn't bear it right now. He'll sleep on the balcony tonite if he does. Anyways gotta go find out who to call. Fun fun fun. Not the happy ending I wanted this post to have.
J-BOMB! OUT! And feeling a little achy already!