Shine On

If you will indulge me I would like to add my two cents on the Montreal violence that occurred just last week. It's actually taken me about this long to formulate some thoughts beyond emotion about this subject. Having been through a similar situation in Calgary, however much less tragic as no one died, it made me feel…. what I am not sure. I just know it disturbed me to the point of not being able to express these sensations with words. I just kept thinking, why does this keep happening even after everything that was learned from Montreal 17 years ago and Columbine just 7 years ago. Maybe the extremes to which the States have gone to with metal detectors at school entrances isn’t a bad idea after all. And I keep wondering what was going through this guys head that made him take an arsenal of weapons to a school which hasn’t even been determined whether or not he was a student of. I keep thinking that he must have been really pissed off, or mad at someone there but it doesn’t follow along the evidence that has so far been uncovered. And he was 25 so it’s not like you could blame it on bullying, because by that age you should know how to deal with your feelings better then to pick up an assault rifle and take matters into your own hands. So then I just get mad at him. Like he would care if he knew I was angry with him for taking someone’s life I didn’t even know. And then his mom says he was a nice kid, always smiling and things like that. If you notice through out the bible and mythology when describing all things evil, they are usually grinning and seem happy. Why, because they know what they are doing is wrong and they know they are going to get away with it. Just like this guy did. So maybe he was evil in the true and most frightening sense of the word. Does that explain it away? No, not so much for me. What made this guy evil? Where did he get the right to take away someone’s life because he was mad? Who gave him that unlimited power to decide who lives or dies? These are the questions that have kept me awake for a week. Is it morbid that I want to know these things? I don’t think it is. It’s human nature to want to have an explanation to why bad things happen or why bad people do what they do. I feel bad for his mom. She must be just devastated that her son did these things. And that’s what he was, he was someone’s son that was loved. He had family and friends and a home. And in one brief and excruciating decision he threw it all away. My god why? Why on earth would you want to give that up? I can’t imagine taking my own life away from my family, because in that moment your family gets taken away from you. I couldn’t live without my family. And I couldn’t live with myself if I felt what it was like to take a light from someone else’s family. To deliberately take away the life of another, someone who is loved and loves, someone who is bright and young and has so many possibilities laid before her, someone who’s lit up a room for someone else, because we do that for someone out there. Whether or not we know it, we make people happy just by showing up, being there. To those of you, who do that for me, thank you. Maybe he didn’t have someone who did that for him. But I bet he did it for someone. And now that someone doesn’t have that light anymore. He made a decision, one solitary action that changed the course of that person’s life. Maybe we should all act like we light up someone’s life and we would be better for it. Less selfish and ignorant towards one another. Maybe we should tell someone that they light up your day. Maybe if someone had told him that, she would still be here. And even as I type that sentence out I see how it shifts blame and I apologize for that. Maybe don’t do it for him, do it for her. So I challenge who ever reads this blog, tell someone who lights up your day that they light up your day. Let go of the worry of feeling awkward or weird about it, just do it. See the reaction you get. So here it goes, to the people who light up my day: Darlene, Gary, Curtis, Colleen, Rachelle, Amelia, Christopher, Jana, Chris, Mike, Linda, Aunty J, Hope, Louis, Keila, Zenon, Mel, Benjamin, Chewie, Roxilana, The Petes, Brandy, Lorne, Chris, Sue, Ken, Tyler, Larry, Jeff, Todd, Riot, Sean, Melissa, Bruce, Sherri, Scott, Gio, Peter, Melissa, Danna, Jenn, Jeff, Amy, Jarrett, Sharon, Jen, Clarissa, Arlene, Rom, Victor, Denise. And to those who lit it up while their candle was still burning: Auntie Mar, Uncle Don, Gramma Ethel, Grandpa Duke. Thank you all so much for your parts in lighting up my day.

J-BOMB! OUT!