Back again! And so soon, interesting!!

Well I said I would do this more often, so I guess I am back. It's been busy in spurts but what else is new. I have a few days where I do nothing but dick the dog and then I have a few days where I want to pull my hair out. What can you do. The boy and I went to Kenora together for the first time since about a year and a half ago. And it was great. I have lots of pics and stuff but they are up on my facebook page, so go there and find them. I have some great pics of my moms yard which is just beautiful. We had a big BBQ at my mom's on saturday night. It was fun. My brother, his wife and the girls came over and it was good to see them again. It had some awkward moments but all in all it went as smoothly as could be expected. We had breakfast the next morning with my dad at the hotel. We stayed at the Inn for the night because mom didn't have the room for both of us and we didn't really want to stay out at Curt's cause then we couldn't come and go as we pleased. I am going to take some holidays next week! I am very excited about that!! Can't wait for this week to be over honestly. I am going to Kenora so Curt can to look at my car and see if there is anything pressing that needs to be taken care of before the warranty is up. And I am going to go to meet up with my best friend Jana while I am in Kenora for the holidays. She spends her summers at the lake with her hubby and it's about an hour and a half away from Kenora. And thanks to facebook, I found some old school friends. And they might come down and hang out for a day. I am going to catch up with Brandy too and her little boy who is all smiles apparently. Lucky shit. I mean really lucky considering how bad she and I were as kids, she should have gotten a hellion to make it square. Very lucky broad. It'll be nice to get out of the city a few days too. What else can I tell you, life is OK and I can't really ask for more then that. That's it folks...

J-BOMB OUT!

Wow - It's been a while....

So I haven't written on here since like April. Bad me!!! For shame for shame! I don't know why, there's been so much friggin' drama I should get GH to sponsor my life. However the drama isn't all mine and maybe that's why it's less blog worthy. It has it's ups and downs, this drama thing. It's nice to see someone else getting flogged by melodrama but then it's never as important or blog worthy cause it isn't about you. And that is me in a nutshell, in the immortal words of Agent Smith "Yes, me. Me, me, me. Me too.". I like me what can I say.
It is summer time up here in Winnipeg. It's been kind of a stressful summer too. The weather hasn't been as good as it was last year. Too much damned rain. And volleyball isn't as satisfying either, not to mention the fact that I am only playing twice a week, and I wanted to play like 4 times a week. The new and improved team isn't as committed as I am. I think the problem is that we picked up too many part time people. That makes it hard to get a constant base of players. No one shows up on time. And it's just a little annoying. Almost not worth it. Or else I am just really eff'n picky.
I am also playing in an intramural league made up of TM and TN staff. We play on the floor level of the MTS Centre, which is super cool! I have a team of neat people. I like 'em all. We started with Dodgeball, which I don't think alot of us have played since our school days. It was great! I did ok, I even compared to the Matrix! But the balls (easy!) we played with were really light and small at first. Difficult to make them go hard and straight (again - easy!). There are 5 teams, we came in third at the end of the term. Not too shabby. Then we started Volleyball last week. I'm doing pretty darn good there. I serve and I hear oohs and ahhs, it's eff'n great! And my team seems to all know the game fairly well. We've only lost once so far. I am getting along really well with the guys from TN. I thought alot of them would cock swingers, but so far they are all pretty cool! In Dodgeball, I threw a ball and put a little curve to it and he went to catch it and did a big stretch to get it, and he dropped it, therefor he's out, and as he's leaving he says "I think I blew my left nut!" Everyone laughs and at the end of the match I went up to him as he was talking with the boys about it, and noticed I was coming towards him and started to give me shit for throwing a knuckleball at him in a joking matter so I said in a girly girl way "Hey, I'm sorry about your nut." I think one guy who was drinking water just about drowned himself, and from then on in I have been deemed an ok chick! They all come up and say hi now and stuff. I am the "go to" TM chick upstairs. It's cool!
What else is new... we got a new PC yesterday. It's neat! Fun to play with. Lotsa games pre-installed on it already. Now I just have to get my illegal music downloading software on it and I am golden! I can't wait to have this whole weekend to corrupt it!!!! Har har har!

Well that is it for me I think. I will do my best to keep up with it a bit better then I have been so far.

J-BOMB OUT!

I Got Professionally Shafted! And Not In A Good Way!

So lets begin. I was up for a job in the company that I work for, and imagine my "surprise" when they tell me I did NOT get the job - AGAIN! This is just getting stupid. 4 job interviews in 5 years and I got bupkiss! This just isn't worth it anymore. You bend over backwards for a company hoping you will get noticed and duly promoted and or rewarded in some manner. Well I am done bending for any reason. They want extra effort then they can suck my dick! So tired of this crap. It feels a little like putting out on the first date (which I have NEVER done - no really!) and then not getting a call after for a second date. It was just kind of funny, cause I remember after the interview they asked if I would help out with stuff like onsales at the box office and stuff like that which I happily did to show I get along with the people down there. Which I do. And one of the old school people were down there. His name's Paul, I have mentioned him before I think. He was the call centre manager up until about July of last year. He left cause the call centre was heading in a direction he didn't like. Yeah the phone room was becoming professional and he would stop having to be everyones friend, he might have to wear appropriate clothing to work instead of rock t-shirts, he might have to be accountable for things. So he left. And guess who got the Box Office job.... that's right that same guy. So it goes to show that in this company he who cuts and runs when the going gets tough gets all the good stuff just because he's been there for a gazillion years. Argh! So I didn't get told until about 4:40pm on a friday afternoon. And after being told I was asked if I had any questions, and I said no I just have a statement - I am going home now, and I walked out of my bosses office. I went home and emailed off about 30 resumes to anywhere I could see. I was so mad! I still am! I just don't know what these people want. Basically I was told because Paul has management experience and I don't was the reason they went with him. In other words, we don't trust you in a managerial position with any amount of power. Then he says that I would be better suited in the Client Services department, with no one working under me. Yeah cause there has been so much movement in that department in the local office. I mean how do you get the experience and in an entry level position like this one was in all honesty, if they keep giving it to people that won't go the FUCK AWAY!?!?!?!? Then yesterday I was asked to go down there to work for a bit while it got busy so I told them it was too busy on the opera line, and it wasn't a good idea. Go down the box office my ass! I've had a couple of calls about my resumes so far but nothing really matches my pay here. Now that is truly sad because the pay here isn't all that great. So bare minimum is what they will get out of me. That's all I seem to get out of them. Oh and the other thing that fries my loaf.... they said they wanted someone in their right away, um the guy they hired is OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR THE NEXT FUCKING MONTH! BITE ME! I can't win, apparently I am not meant to. So I will just eke out a meager existence since that seems to be all I am good for. Yay me.

J-BOMB so very out!

To Sleep Perchance To Dream

Have you ever had one of those dreams that feel so real you wake up broken hearted? Even after 8 years after my godmother passed away I dream of her and my godfather (he only passed away a little less then 2 years ago) still alive and still living in the same house I nearly grew up in back in Kenora. And you get that homey, de ja vu that makes your heart smile and puts a little extra warmth in your tone. Last night I had one of those kinds of dreams. It was beautiful and summer outside and the lake looked perfect, the house smelled of cedar and Coca Cola. Yes, it has a smell. And everything there was like it was when I was younger. Before she passed they actually moved into the house they built next door because it was smaller. It was a gorgeous house as well. But when I have these dreams we are always in the other house, that beautiful A-frame with gigantic bay windows that were basically floor to vaulted ceiling. The loft office upstairs, the rec room downstairs where my brother lived, that had the pool table in it and a bar. The stand up freezer that was always full of meat and frozen veggies. The wrap around deck well above the ground, with the hummingbird feeders and great big B-B-Q on it. There was stairs from the deck to the grass and the big rock in the yard. My uncle had built a diving board in the rock that we used. He even carved a picture of a loon dancing on the water just before it took flight in the cement steps he attached to the rock. The dogs are there, Bambi and Punqui, at least a few of the cats like Mister “E” or Missie Mouse. It’s just so entirely the same. Happy times. The twist is that I am the age I am now with the people I have now in these dreams. It feels special. Like I wish everyone I know now knew the delight I did when I was there. Last night I dreamt I had all of my friends from every corner of the earth there and we were having a cook out. It was perfect. And I got to talk to my godparents again. And hold them and smile at them and have them smile back. The sound laughter was amazing. But then we always did laugh a lot at Auntie Mar and uncle Don’s house. It’s funny, I never really cooked too much in that house but it seems that when I am there now that’s what I am doing. My nieces and brothers and sisters are all around, both my parents are there and amused. It was just perfect. Then every time I would try and introduce my newer friends with my godparents something in the back of my brain new it wasn’t right. And I would remember they are gone. But as fast as I remembered it I forgot it and it was elation again. It’s just such a strange bliss you know? There’s such fun and closeness but you have that 6th sense that something isn’t as it really is. But you can’t quite put your finger on it. But you’re so happy you don’t care. And I don’t care about the theory that those kind of dreams only last minutes because to me this dream was hours long of sheer greatness. And then you wake up. And for just a few seconds, I think “Damn I haven’t called Auntie Mar in ages I should call her and see how she and Uncle Don are.” And before I even finish that entire sentence in my head, by about the time the word “how” bounces through my head, I remember. But I can’t bring myself to not finish that sentence. I never can. And there doesn’t seem to be an occurrence that makes these dreams surface. Not food, nor thought, nor smell. They just happen every so often. And I am left with this feeling of an unfillable void. And the wish to speak with them again. It’s devastating, I’ve tried all day to get out of this emotion and nothing is working. What to do, what to do? Well I could talk about something else I suppose.
Ok then, I had an interview on Monday for the Assistant Box Office Manager position and it went well, but it always does. I really, really need this job. And I would be good at it too. However I won’t know anything until next week. So I sit and stew. It’s hard to do that. I would just mean a lot to me if I could progress in the company I have chosen to work for. Like they had confidence in me to be a worthy employee. I keep praying to the career gods but to date they have ignored me 3 times with in this company alone in 5 years. Not great odds, but then maybe they think I am due. Let’s hope the latter is what they are thinking here too. Well that’s it kids I will keep you abreast of the good stuff. See ya!

J BOMB OUT!

To The Gallows With all Thieves!

So like the title suggests, I had an issue with a thief. Last week on Tuesday I came to work like any other day. I get to work a little before 9AM and deposit my purse behind my desk and sat down to respond to a few emails and regular desk duty stuff. Then at like 10 past 9 I go to finally get my coffee. I have been gone for about 2-3 total minutes and I come out and Melissa and Richard (co-workers) are standing at Rich's office talking books, and I thought I would call Melissa over to look at my relatively new purse since I hadn't thought she had seen it yet. So I sit down and look underneath my desk to get my purse and lo and behold it's not there. Curious. So then I look in the drawers and ask if anyone has seen my purse. Richard sometimes like to pull jokes to prove a point and I thought maybe cause I wasn't at my post that was what was going on and asked him if he tok my purse as a joke and he said no. Then he says, as he was coming into the office someone came flying out and nearly hit him in the face with the door she was moving so quickly. My heart sank; I knew exactly what had happened. Someone took off with my purse. Was it locked up..... no, was it in plain view....NO. You had to go looking for it in order to see it. I asked Richard what she looked like, he said tall as he was 5'9 or so, native, dark hair and in a dark jacket. Ok now I am PISSED! How dare someone take my stuff for no reason! It's not their property it is MINE! So I called security to see if they could security tapes for Richard to look at to see if he could ID the person walking away with it. They said they would look into it and get back to me. So I checked my bank balance online to see if there was any activity and there wasn't. I didn't think anyone would be able to take out funds with my bank card because they wouldn't have the PIN number to it. And there would be no way to take it out at a teller without Photo ID. So I hold off until I could get a lunch hour to get to the bank. I also had the boys’ bank card in my purse and I had to phone him to tell him to go to his bank and freeze his accounts. And cause he had the day off it was super easy for him to do. So I sit and stir and seethe for a good hour and a half over all of this anxiously waiting for Security to get back to me about this. No phone call at about 12pm so I called them and they say that they are looking through tapes still. Ok then fine. I check my bank balance again and there is a withdrawal of $900 and all I thought was damn my dad must have transfered the money out of his chequing account into his savings. My dad and I share that chequing account and have for about 10 years now. My paycheck gets deposited into that account and my car payment and my insurance come out of that account. I was more worried about the fact that he took the money but didn't leave the money I needed to pay my car insurance that was to come out on Friday. So I phoned him to ask him about it and he wasn't home all I got was his answering machine. So again I sit and stew. Then at about 2:30 city Place Security calls me and says they have had my purse turned in. I go down there and pick up my purse and notice that both bank cards (mine and the boys) and my SIN and my Photo ID/driver's license. All the pertinent info really. Again I call Security to see where it stands and the guy that was looking into it wasn't there. Ok fine, back to the stew. Call the credit companies and have my SIN number flagged for the next 6 years. Called my insurance company and let them know that maybe I won't make my payment. So I called the police non emergent line to repot the theft and I was asked if I had a suspect in mind, and I said I might I am just waiting on security tapes to confirm an ID and was told to call back and make the report then. Umm ok. So make me do the leg work and then report the easy part to you? Impressive. So by this time I have completely forgotten to go to the bank and it's now closed. Then finally at 4:30 my dad calls me back and I inform him he hasn't left me enough money to cover my cheque, to which he replies there is $900 in the account after he went shopping. I said no you transfered $900 out of our account into somewhere.......didn't you??? I said well I had my purse lifted this morning and shortly after $900 went missing and I thought it was you who took it now I see it was the bitch who stole my purse. Fuck me! So my dad and I hang up, he's calling the bank as am I now. I didn't think you could just freeze your account over the phone. I almost vomitted when I got through the queue to talk to a person. I explained what happened and they said that the transaction happened at 11:57am. There are almost tears now. I can feel them building. The tightness in my throat. And it's getting hard to breathe. The person on the phone is telling me to right away call the credit companies and has since frozen the account. They are also informing the branch that it happened at to get the ball rolling on an investigation. At this point I am unclear as to if this happened at a teller or an ATM. The person inthe call centre though assured me that the money would be returned. That made me think it was a teller. So I phoned my dad back apologizing over and over again. I should have been on the phone pronto to the bank to have the account frozen. I get done work and walk across the street to the Security desk to see if they found anything and the guy who was looking after the complaint had left for the day. I don't think he did what he was supposed to honestly. But the head security guy was there and he let me look at the tapes, but I couldn't really tell but based on the time line we had established there were two possibilities. So I phoned Richard to come over and look at these people and I told him to ask Melissa to come with him to look as well. They couldn't be conclusive about it. So I finally leave work at about 6om and on my way home I decided to pull into a cop shop and report the theft. Officer Waterman was very nice. He made the report and said they would be in touch with the bank and whatnot. I go home and phone my dad again and he's unbelievable calm and easy about it. That made me feel better about it. Even the boy was surprisingly supportive. I thought I would get a big lecture about hiding my purse at work and how I should have been on the horn to the bank as soon as it happened. But he just kept saying that the person in the wrong was the asshole who stole my purse. I thought he would be really pissed off at me for putting his card at risk but he wasn't. That was nice to hear from him. So I decided I needed to decompress from the stress, so I was going to volleyball that night to get out some frustration. I get there and everyone is late and we finally start and all of a sudden my ankle is feeling really weird and I am getting shooting pains when I try to push off of it to get a jump or dash for the ball. I ended up leaving early. That left me feeling very unsatisfied. So the next day I straighten around the ID and stuff and get my new one sent to me eventually. I had to be at work early to get to through a memorial parade for two fallen firefighters. It was a sobering day for me. Yeah I lost money but I was still alive. I got a call from the assistant manager at the bank where it happened. I talked to her and discovered that the money was in fact taken out through a face to face teller. How does that happen exactly? Well quite easily if you act casually and get a male teller. I have to come in and reopen new accounts with them so that they can put the money back into this new account. I have been on the phone with her for about 10 minutes and have yet to receive an apology that this happpened. Nothing. The bank in Kenora that my dad deals with has offered him money to tie him over until we get the money back intothe account. I got bupkis. Bastards! I go home and there's a message on my machine that a police shop has my ID. Interesting! So I go to the cop shop and ask when it was turned in and where it was found. The guy couldn't answer either question. That's sort of annoying, getting a little perturbed with the boys in blue now. Next day I get to my afternoon appointment and they are nice and smiley and still no real apology, I kept waiting for the barrage of "I'm so sorry"'s but it never came. And as I am there it slips that the teller said that the persono acted very naturally as he (aha the teller is male) was asking security questions. Ok answering questions is great but how about we ask the right ones. Like if perhaps the id had been stolen ask more then someone's address and SIN number, how about asking who I share the account with? Or I have 2 bills that are automatically withdrawn from this account what are they and how much are the bills? Those were two of the questions I had to answer when I was setting up my banking online! Good questions that wouldn't have an answer in my purse. Fuckin' knobs! I'm very upset now that I know this. So I get my new accounts open and as kind as they are they offer me my cheques fee free. Isn't that sweet? I asked how far they were into the ivestigation and they said they were still going through security tapes. Where have I heard that before....? They couldn't let me see the tapes though. I have a feeling that when they get through this investigation I will no longer be a Bank of Montreal customer. I would like to believe that the teller would lose his job because clearly he's incompetent. But who knows? I don't and it's been a week and I have had no word. Ridiculous! How much time does it take to go over security tapes? I woudln't be so mad if it was just my money that got taken, but it was mostly my dads money and the guy has been on and off of EI for the last 6 months because his employer can't secure a contract for him to go to work. He has rent and car payments to make too. All this stress cause by one piece of shit and I can't do anything but wait. I think I have developed an ulcer from this pressure. I really just want to put my hands around this person’s neck and shake them. Why are you stealing from people? Are you so lazy you don't go out and work for your own money? Or are you just an asshole genetically? If I do get my hands on this cunt (and I only use this word in extreme cases like this) I will bloody her ugly fuckin face! She better pray she gets picked up by the cops before I find her.

J-BOMB OUT and extremely angry!

Blue Hawaiiian Martinis are BRILLIANT!

So I have been avoiding this post for a week and a few days. I had a little birthday back on the 11th of January. It's no big deal really. Ok I am lying my ass off, (turns around to make sure), well maybe not it's still there. I turned the big 3-0. And it hurt. I can't desrcibe the feeling of underachievement that plagued me that whole week. So to get over this awful feeling, I decided to throw myself a little party, because I knew if I didn't do it no body else would. So I sent out this little invitation to all my friends from work, volleyball and everything else in between.

"Subject line : We're Gonna Sip Bacardi Like It's My Birthday!"

"You are invited to the party of the year!
For whom you ask deserves this kind of cheer?
I do - for this year I turn, god help me, the big 3-0,
And I don't think I will make it through without my bro's and my ho's!

I need all of your help to cope with my life's new page,
Because I feel like I have been locked in a new cage.
One with that happens to rhyme with (gasp!) middle age.
So don't miss it, or I might use your name with disparage.

I don't want your cards, drinks or presents,
All I require is your much needed presence.
Just bring your hugs and heartfelt wishes,
I promise some one else will do the dishes.

Powerhouse Tavern United is where it will be underway
Any time after 5pm on January 12, that's a Friday.
I gave you two weeks notice, do the math in your head,
And find a babysitter if needed, for a night out in the 'Peg!

And please RSVP if it's at all possible
Hey you can even just reply to this email!"

Not bad huh? I didn't realize I could still pull off the poetry thing but I think I did it in spades. So I sent it out to almost like 50 people. And I sent it out before the New Year so I thought I would give the guests lots of time to prepare to enjoy a night out avec moi! I even sent it to people out of town just to let them know I was thinking of them. Sweet aren't I? I got lots of responses of the positive variety, and some out of office replies but that's ok too. So by that week I had a solid 20 or so people showing up. I was kinda nervous about how my mood would be about it because alot of people on my guest list were younger then me DAMN YOU!!! But I thought maybe it would inspire me. HA! Then the weather hit... -40 and even colder with the windchill all that week. And of course on the night of it was probably the coldest of the entire week. BLAST! Ahh well, I had a few people email and said their cars were not moving because they were dead, that's a valid reason and I appreciated them letting me know they wouldn't be there. But everyone from work came out that said they were going to come out. Even one person from volleyball came out. And well of course Lorne, any excuse to drink where there are short skirted waitresses around isn't a hard sell for him ;)~ We had some food and ALOT of drinks. I had so many Blue Hawaiian Martinis it was ridiculous! And that was before the shots started. Our new Phone Centre Manager, Jennifer bought the first one, she asked for something sweet and fruity. and we ended up with Dirty Hookers. Nice eh? And they were the best shooter I have EVER had. It was cranberry juice, Sour Puss and melon liquer in a shot glass, GENIUS pure bloody GENIOUS! Then Pete bought a round of the same shot, then Damir showed up, Damir is our new IT guy. He started with a shot of Tequilia BLAST! At least it had a piece lime with it, I prefer the lime to the lemon. Then more Martinis, even a friend's Uncle bought me a bevvie that sweet guy! Thanks Murray! More Dirty Hookers, this time I bought the round, then Damir came back for a Blowjob! Sorry WITH a Blowjob (gotta keep the audience captivated!) that was a bit more difficult because you couldn't use your hands and I don't swallow well with my mouth open. Oh my gawd did I just type that OUT LOUD!?!?!?!? Good thing my parents don't read this. More Martini's and then people started to leave. That made me sad because I had to be there until 9:30 for sure because the boy got off work at that time and was meeting me there. So it was like 8:30 and I decided to tell the boy just to pick me up cause no one else was showing. Then I phoned Zenon to give him shit for not being there and as it turned out he and Chewie (yay Chewie!) were on their way. So phone the boy back and tell him that he has to come upstairs. I was happy again! Plus Lorne and Danielle stayed for a while so that was good! Even if they were both younger than me...... Zenon and chewie show up and Zenon has a card that inside he wrote "You're 30, it sucks, that's it it just sucks.". I appreciated the honesty. Lorne brought me some very weird and might I add questionable gag gifts. Pocky sticks, which were fine, I actually like those, some odd form of chocolate and nut mixture that turned into powder in your mouth, and for some very strange reason, dried squid eggs and they smelled AWFUL! So strange he is. So the night went on and both Danielle and Lorne left, so Chewie, Zenon and I settled in to the couches to watch the Oilers game while we waited for Mike. Oh and we ordered some nachos which were fantastic! Mike gets there and orders some wings and a drink. While we are watching the Oilers game, the Moose game across the street let out. So it started to get busy and we were on the couches watching the game having some funny conversations, that I don't really remember, and this couple comes up to us and asks if we would mind if they sat down on the couch opposite us, that was empty. We said go right ahead, head being the operative word in this case. They sat down and no more the 5 minutes later and they were all over each other on the couch. I was totally blown away, as was the guy on the couch just about. I mean I saw more taste buds then a tongue depressor that night (Rim Shot!) . Then they got up to go get a beer and Zenon and I just looked at each other like, seriously? Then he says one of his best ever lines, probably since "Oh fuck my ass!" as we were heading dangerously towards a ditch on the highway once in the winter a few years ago, he says "You know I am all in but it's all or nothing and I have a wetnap riiiight here!". I nearly wet my pants laughing. Then he rubs his hands together almost as they headed back. I would have been alot more offended had the couple been ugly. Well the tongues come back out, and in, and out. I mean they were in ears, in mouths and all over necks. Then there is hands up shirts and on zippers. Then I start to get loud, "When did they start charging by the hour couch usage here?" sort of remarks. The guy gets up to leave and the chick is hanging on his leg, total desperation, and it's clear right there, they weren't a couple per se, they had met on the street corner after the Moose game for the first time and were totally loaded! How gross! I mean now that I am 30, HOW GROSS! I haven't done that with a perfect stranger since I was 20 and certainly not in a public venue like a pub! Then the table behind us is starting to get loud, and one guy says to his table of friends "Come on it's true love! It's love! What's wrong with that." I turned around and looked at one of the girls and she had tears in her eyes she was laughing so hard! And then I lost it. I was laughing out loud and not censoring my laughter at all. Finally they got up and left and they got a round of applause from the bar and I yell out as they left "Don't forget to leave the $20 on the nightstand before you go!" And a loud round of laughter after that. We left shortly thereafter cause the Oilers game was over and they lost - again! Getting a little tired of losing gentlemen! Oh well, we all go home and (ahem) sleep. It was a good night overall. Thanks to all that came out and to those who tried but couldn't make it, thanks for the effort it's just as appreciated as if you actually there. Well other then that life has been pretty boring. Volleyball has been up and down. Work has been a constant..... well just a constant. Home life hasn't changed too much neither. So that's it folks. Smoke 'em if you got 'em! You ain't gotta go home, but you gotta get the hell outta here! That's it that's all!

J-BOMB OUT!

Thank God I Woke Up!

So I had a fairly bizarre dream life last night. Odder even more so was the fact that I only had about 4 hours of sleep due to my increasingly noisy neighbours to the east of me! Why do you need to have loud discussions in your bedroom after 1 AM? I don't get it???!?!!?! Anyways. The first place I remember it starting was me living in my house, so hey, good dream, I have finally progressed to a home in a house, happy happy joy joy!! Then someone on my freebie list (check my profile to see said list if you wish) and I had a romantic encounter. Yeah yeah bad me, whatever!!! He's not real and he's on MY FREEBIE LIST!!! It's not like this is a real person I would ever be with in real life. Funny historical side note, I am not sure if the boy would so much go along cause I have never asked about the fact if he was ok with my freebie list. Ask not, it's easier to deny later!! But I ended this romancic adventure even before it got really started because I was attached in my dream too. But hey getting to dream of one kiss with a guy on your freebie list is still pretty eff'n cool! Then I'm not sure how I got there but all of a sudden I was moving back out west, which would be awesome if I could afford it and my real life romance person would follow. I even had my old Dakota back to make the move. Oh how I miss that truck! Packing up boxes in the back and stuff and it felt good too, good like how you feel after you have made a smart decision. But boy was also following me there. Not the freebie list boy. So hot! (drool) Oh anyhow it did seem like that portion of the dream wasn't a separate incident from the first part. It felt like it gelled together properly. Then somehow we ended up in another apartment in Winnipeg and all of the boys family was in our apartment. Curiouser and curiouser... they never come over, even the ingrate of an exgirlfriend-sorry-excuse-for-a-parent-pain-in-the-ass from across the hall. And she gave me attitude in my dream so I let her have it! Better yet, so did the rest of the family. IT WAS AWESOME! I felt vindication, not just for myself but for everyone involved with that psycho! And then I went down to have coffee with a male friend and that psycho followed me and tried to listen in on our conversation like she was going to catch me saying something inappropriate to my friend that would be incriminating and then tell the boy on me. How high school! Then the boy came down to join us for coffee and they actually got along like they were old buddies! That was fantastic! Made my dream day! So let's take stock shall we...... 3 very positive things and one lusty positive thing and all it took was one mind numbingly freaky thing to jolt me awake in a cold sweat! We went back upstairs to our apartment and all of a sudden the boy and I had a baby. I don't know what the hell kind of elevator we were in but let me tell you I won't go into that one in real life. Scary. Wanna know why? I don't remember the labour (maybe that's not the scary part) and this baby was teeny weeny. And it's neck flopped even when I was supporting it. I was swaddling this baby, pardon me, MY baby, and noticed that she (hey at least it was a girl) was poopy so I wanted to change her. As I removed old dirty diaper the baby kind of dragged various body limbs through the "dirt" so I had to now bathe this infant. I remember being very concerned at getting "dirt" on me too so I was holding her like a nuclear reactor, arms straight out parallel to the floor, and then simply running her under the tap in the bathroom sink. I really don't remember it being that easy. However I did remember to test the water temperature with my elbow. I even used baby soap. Then back to the bedroom to replace with a non "dirt" filled diaper and put baby back to bed; well there was no crib to be found. Oh and I couldn't swaddle her properly at all. So I got frustrated and the boy actually cozied her up and put her to bed, in our bed right in the middle. Not like she's gonna roll off, she's a newborn. I was tired too, I felt like a new mother, just drained..... totally out of steam like I have been doing it for hours. Looking after the infant you perverts! I went into check on her and the boy had put her to sleep on the wrong side. So I got all scared of her having SIDS or some other sleeping disorder. He says "Just put Sheba in the room and she'll let us know if anything goes wrong." Who's Sheba you ask..... Well in real life she was my first ever dog, a German Sheppard and the best one ever. She was part of the family before I was, and she was the mother of all dogs. Didn't matter what kind of babies were in the house, humans, kittens she was there ready to mother them. She had 2 rather large litter of puppies herself. We had a cat who had kittens and Sheba couldn't wait for the Dribbles (the mother cat) to go out for a pee break so she could get into that litter box and take care of those kittens. Dribbles would come back in and find all kittens freshly washed by Sheba and dripping in dog slobber. It was hilarious. Back to my dream, one more positive - I finally have a DOG! But this Sheba wasn't a Sheppard, well maybe a Sheppard cross, but definitely with Rotti and Lab traits to her. My perfect dog choice! So in came Sheba to watch over baby and I left the room, just as I was closing the door I awoke. Now lets just brush up on your "January Doesn't Want Babies" history...... I don't want to be a mother. Yes I was drenched in sweat, babies are SCARY! I am fairly certain that this dream just solidified that decision I made oh so long ago. I felt like I was breaking this baby. (shiver) So waking up is now a good thing for more then just knowing I'm not dead! As I was recounting this story to a co-worker this afternoon she asked "What the FUCK did you eat last night????" So note to self: no more french onion soup and reubens for supper!!!


J-BOMB OUT!! (considering a tubalectomy!)